case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-11-01 02:32 pm

[ SECRET POST #3224 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3224 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry about early, have stuff to do!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2015-11-02 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
because at least now, there's uncertainty. i can say maybe the reason no one wants to date me is because i haven't tried internet dating. rather than being certain it's because of how terrible i am etc.

also i should be clear that i'm being somewhat hyperbolic here & also very much on the low end of how i generally tend to think & the thing that i'm most insecure about. like, there are a lot of things that i legitimately like about myself. there are a lot of things in my life that i'm happy about.

at the same time, there is really a legitimate sincere fear in regards to romance. partly because i am lonely & would like not to be, but also partly because it's really hard to erase the idea that romantic success is indicative of worth, especially when you've had very little of it. it's really hard for me not to see that as on some level a referendum about myself. it's really hard for me not to be afraid of that kind of total rejection on a deep-down level. it really would hurt for online dating to confirm that. i know that's not mature & that's not what you're supposed to think but it is something that i feel. and so i am anxious about it and afraid of it.

anyway i will definitely buy you an anonymous internet pizza if i try a dating site & get a date, and thank you for taking the time.

(Anonymous) 2015-11-02 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
like what if the possibility is that the things that i happen to like about myself are things that no one finds attractive in a romantic partner

what if i'm the only person who likes those qualities

again, it's unlikely but, like, i don't feel qualified to dismiss the possibility entirely

(Anonymous) 2015-11-02 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah, it's difficult to put yourself out there, especially when you (and society as a whole tbh) puts a lot pressure on romantic success. it's easy to not to try at all because failure is scary. but problem with that is that you end up doing things you don't want to do because other option is safer. i've done that before in a lot of aspects of my life (and still trying to get over a some of them!)

but at some point you gotta decide if you'll actually be happy with the safe option or end up regretting it. and if you feel like you'll regret it, you gotta push through and at the very least try to do the thing you really want to do.

also this might not accurate for you so correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm assuming you're pretty introverted and don't put yourself out there all that much. if that's the case, you're not going to get much attention, much less romantic, because people don't know who you really are, not because you're unworthy of it.

but yeah, it's tough to do these sort of things when you're not used to it and have a lot of concerns about yourself. taking that first step will probably be one of the most uncomfortable ones, but once you start pushing through those anxieties, you'll get more used it and dating will come more naturally.

best of luck, anon! looking forward to that pizza. :)