[ SECRET POST #3228 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3228 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

TW: abuse

[(Anonymous)]

I have this online friend who I recently found out is in an abusive relationship. They realize their relationship is toxic, though they themselves won't use the word abusive.

I'm just not really sure how to help them. I really care about this person even though we've never actually met. We're about as close as you can get for just being friends online.

I tried to respond to things they said by being encouraging and telling them I think they are strong enough to figure things out for themselves and telling them that they are worth it and what they want matters (the guy is selfish and cheats but then gets possessive).

I'm just not sure what else I can say that might help. We're not close enough that I can just say "dump the douche." I want to be the person who encourages them to see value in themselves and their desires. Is there anything else I can do to help them?

Re: TW: abuse

[(Anonymous)]

I've been there. Several times. And... I'm sorry, anon, but there are no easy answers. :( If you come up with one, let me know. Heh.


What I will tell you is that in 99% of these instances, the women in question eventually left. But they did it on their own terms, and in some cases it took a while. Years, even. All we could really do was validate their concerns and be there for them.

Re: TW: abuse

[(Anonymous)]

There isn't a whole lot you can say or do, unfortunately. Keep reminding them that they don't deserve to be treated badly and offer general support, I guess. If it becomes too much for you (i.e. being their emotional dumping ground) then I'd try gently limiting how much of it you're exposed to while strongly encouraging them to seek therapy, counseling (not couples counseling, but individual counseling for them) and offering information and resources about women's shelters, etc.

And be prepared for her to stay regardless, because a lot of people in abusive relationships do.