case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-11-18 07:28 pm

[ SECRET POST #3241 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3241 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Working late again, sorry!

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #463.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Failing as an adult

(Anonymous) 2015-11-19 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm planning to do my PhD next fall, and my mom gave me a talk today about being sure that's what I want because a) I'll be 30 by the time I get the PhD and that's old and b) I keep traveling/moving (internationally) and never develop a strong social network in one place, and I have few friends in this tiny hometown of mine where everyone's moved away and c) I have no significant partner and she doesn't want me to be too old to have kids.

I wasn't feeling bad before but now I feel like a spinster at 26 who will never have a family and should just find some career type job and be done with it. :-/

Re: Failing as an adult

(Anonymous) 2015-11-19 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
You need to think about what you want and not what your mom wants you to want.

If you want kids, you do need to give consideration to the fact that time is limited, but having kids doesn't have to mean settling in one place forever or doing anything else in a certain way. My parents moved internationally, had me, then moved internationally again a few years later.

I think local friends are important, but having friends all over is also handy!

Re: Failing as an adult

(Anonymous) 2015-11-19 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, go get your Phd!!
chardmonster: (Default)

Re: Failing as an adult

[personal profile] chardmonster 2015-11-19 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
Your mom's full of crap. I just turned thirty and I'm defending my dissertation this year.

1. Thirty isn't old. I'm in History and defending my dissertation this year. I'm actually really young to be finishing.

2. Thirty isn't old. Seriously. You aren't an incubator for your mom and there are PLENTY of people having kids around now and later. Hell, many of my friends met their significant others IN grad school. It's a great place to meet cute people who share your interests and aren't intimidated by brains. Missing out on that is one of my biggest regrets. You aren't a fucking spinster at 26.

3. The big thing you have to look at is job prospects after the phD. Make sure you're willing to enter a potentially tough job market if you're in the humanities. It's not so bad if you're willing to go outside academe.
Edited 2015-11-19 07:14 (UTC)