fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3254 ]

[ SECRET POST #3254 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3254 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 029 secrets from Secret Submission Post #465.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Yeah, but I mean, Roald Dahl also did coming-of-age, he just did it in a specific surrealistic style. It seems to me that Rowling started out in that tradition, but then went more 'realistic' fantasy with it, and the result is a bit hybrid. I'm not really sure where the coming-of-age aspect is necessary to note in order to address this issue.

... Misfire?

Undertale and Doctor Who. So... since I'm doing a pacifist run, I suppose that'd be the ability to talk people down and become friends with them instead - that'd be a pretty good skill to have as a companion.

Not exactly far enough in Undertale to really have a good idea what the implications would be of time travel in that world, lul. But if it was just Doctor-esque intelligence and mystery-solving skills, that would be pretty cool.

Another lesbian here, and I agree. As for some reasons, well here's some:

*The main "femslash" hub can be seriously nasty to video game/anime femslash. These sides of femslash have been forced to carve out their own side of fandom because the main western femslash wouldn't share and generally looked down on the video game/anime side.

*massive amounts of biphobia and transphobia. It's especially maddening when it's a bi-confirmed character and you get lesbians screaming about lesbian erasure. (I didn't like Mako either, but damn. It isn't erasure! Stop shitting on bisexuals!)

*They're just as bad as the stereotypical slash fangirls about shitting on potential male love interests. (As are het shippers for that matter. Die For Our Ship knows no gender) One particularly horrible example is a character from the anime Akuma no Riddle. Her backstory reveals that she was in love with a man years ago. He dumped her for another woman. He doesn't even have a name or face, yet a lot of femslashers complained and said it ruined her and the anime.

*SwannQueen showed that femslashers can be just as wanky as the big slash wankers when they continually harassed the creators of OUAT and actors on twitter.

*There's a pervailing problem where femslashers. For example, Kuvira/Korra fans have been accused of lesbian erasure for breaking up a canon f/f pair...for another f/f pair. I've seen the same in Homestuck for other Rose pairs than Kanaya.

I feel like I put the paragraphs of my previous post in the wrong order and made my point really confusing because of it. To be clear: The circumstance where I'm saying it would be kind of weird and distancing to allow misconceptions is if you're in a platonic common-law relationship with someone - where you share a life with them, just not your body. In that circumstance, "friend/roommate" doesn't cut it, but "BF/GF/Partner" will leave people with misconceptions.

If you're not sharing your life with the person though, then yeah, I really don't see how it's different than friendship. But that could just be me.

A subreddit where people post their problems and seek advice. And the advice is almost exclusively "get therapy".

On one hand hell yes on the other hand, I really like the teaching-kids aspect, so I'd have to find a park with a strong focus in that. :o

Why does it bother you if there's a misconception, though? The only reason I could see someone being bothered by it was if they thought sex and/or romance were bad things and didn't want to be associated with them. It's like if someone thinks you're gay and you're not...sure, it might not be true, but why would you be bothered unless you think being gay is a bad thing? Especially if it's a passing acquaintance, I don't see why it would matter at all. And honestly, I'd rather someone mistakenly think the relationship was sexual when it wasn't but at least take it seriously than just dismiss it as unimportant because it wasn't sexual.

situations where you live with someone and share finances and are basically a common-law couple except without sex

See, I'd count that as romantic. All the time I see people who identify as aromantic and want the exact same type of relationship that people who consider themselves romantic want, and it doesn't make sense to me. To be describing the exact same thing, but call it two different things...I guess it just depends on your definition of romantic. To you, does it have to involve sex to be considered romantic and if it doesn't, then it's something else?

I think for me the distinction is the level of commitment. If two people live together, share finances, are involved in all the day to day domestic stuff together, go on vacation together, make all the big decisions together, do whatever they need to do to keep the relationship together (like move if one of them gets another job somewhere else, because they don't want to be apart, like spouses generally would), take care of each other when they're sick, plan on being together for their entire lives, etc...all the stuff that makes up most marriage vows, basically. To me, that's romance, regardless of whether sex is involved.

It's interesting to me how people can have such different ideas on it!

Oh, yeah, there is, but a lot of the industry starts with unpaid internships, which is a little bit frustrating, you know?

And if what you said in this comment is what you'd said from the start, I wouldn't have had reason to assume your information on hoarding disorder was lacking. And clearly, I'm not the only person who thought that here.

As for the rest of your post...I was pretty much agreeing with you being in a better position to judge? I mean, what did you think I meant by "I'm not trying to say some person I don't know is definitely a hoarder"?

Edited 2015-12-02 06:07 (UTC)

Not to be insensitive, but I really want to know what you did, or think you did, to destroy your friendship. It was something that happened fast, and now he hates you. Given the tone of your post, I would guess you made a pass at him and he very much did not reciprocate, except that wouldn't be a good reason for him to hate you. Maybe you made a pass at/had sex with his GF/BF? A Bit of an odd thing to do, if you're in love with him, but then maybe it was displacement. A 'kiss the person he's kissed' kind of thing. *shrugs*

It seems like you probably don't want to say, and beyond this I won't try to pry it out of you. Especially since my motives are at least as much curiosity as a desire to sympathize. (sorry)

But I can't really say anything supportive or sympathetic if I don't know what you did. It seems like you probably don't deserve this much pain, though. I mean you're pretty broken up; it's hard to imagine anyone this broken up (and sad, as opposed to angry and vindictive) could deserve it. *pats you*

Sorry anon.

I love both. I think the musical definitely changed a few story elements but it seemed to still get the tone of the movie/appeared to be done with love. I also just really like the songs.

Oh you.

No, it was nothing like that. No romantic entanglement. I...abandoned him when he needed me, when I could easily have been there for him. His mental health was in a massive downward spiral at the time, so maybe he wouldn't have reacted the same way if it had happened a few months earlier, but the way the circumstances lined up...well, he felt betrayed, and even now that he's doing a little bit better, the strength of how he felt at the time left a heavy mark on his thoughts about me, and, I believe, his thoughts about getting close to people in general.

Maybe it doesn't sound like a good reason to those who don't know him; his life story justifies his thought process, but it's not my story to tell. If nothing else, though, I respect his feelings and his decisions. I just regret that it happened, and that I made the mistake in the first place, no matter what else was in play at the time. It hurts to no end to imagine the rest of my life without him, but if he feels safer or happier without me in his life, I'm not going to push, beyond letting him know I'm sorry and that I'll always be there if his mind changes.

You have a bit of Roald Dahl with the Dursleys. The format for the Hogwarts parts is very, very obviously Victorian & Edwardian school stories. Like, it's well done - it executes those tropes really well on its own terms, and it also is very clever in how it plays with them and adds magic. But it's really, really heavily indebted to that formula for Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets. That's still very present in POA - although it's merged with a lot of new dramatic elements. After that, it almost entirely disappears, and the elements that draw from Dahl or from the Edwardian school stories either disappear or only persist insofar as they have been reinterpreted to fit into the new model.

So, yeah. It's actually a huge transformation IMO. And it's one of the reasons people argue about the series so much, because it changes so much and it has those tonal inconsistencies.

ayrt

Many reasons. One being the ridiculous "women are pure creatures that must not be tainted by men" pedastaling, and in tandem with it, the fetishization of the "purity" of lesbian relationships. Another being the blatant, vicious erasure of bisexuality. Another being the combative posturing at dudeslashers/het fans. Like, fuck off, I'm not a banner to be flown at your behest to prove how much "better" you are than everyone else.

A bad person? No. A coward? No. An unfortunate victim of an intolerant society? Yes. I hope that someday you'll be free to date whomever you want without facing that stigma, but until then, there's nothing wrong with staying safe.

Getting on anti-depressants.

Plus one million.

Starting an RP blog. I was worried I wouldn't be good at portraying the characters, but people seem to like what I do with them.

No, that's NOT cyberstalking, you'e wrong!

Why does it bother you if there's a misconception, though?

I feel like this is a question you wouldn't ask if you were ace.

I mean, would it bother you if half the people who ever spoke to you called you by the wrong name, because the first time you met them, briefly somewhere, you told them your name was Sandy or Dave because your actual name was something annoyingly complicated, or that they would laugh at? It's not an exact comparison, just something to get the point across.

Each individual instance where someone doesn't see the reality of you is no big deal. But when it's several times a day for an entire life? Yeah, it's fucking LONELY. It's fucking LONELY to not being able to say "My boyfriend" and have it FIT. Have it truly be YOU and YOUR LIFE your talking about.

And honestly, I'd rather someone mistakenly think the relationship was sexual when it wasn't but at least take it seriously than just dismiss it as unimportant because it wasn't sexual.

You don't think that plays a part!? You don't think that maybe part of the reason it feels bad to say "boyfriend" is because it's easier? Because it's a small but pivotal inaccuracy that doesn't leave a person feeling vulnerable and dismissed, but that also doesn't leave a person feeling recognized?

I'm really trying not to bite your head off here, but I'm feeling a bit sick at having to put this into words. I forget that many people don't know what it's like to not be able to express who they are on some of these basic levels - not because they don't know who they are, but because other people can't conceptualize it, and don't want to hear it, and because sometimes there isn't even a language to express it with.

See, I'd count that as romantic.

I consider "romantic" an emotional qualifier. It's a certain kind of love, or a certain kind of emotion than one hopes will grown into that certain kind of love. A romantic relationship is not defined by the practicalities, but by what the people in it feel about each other and about their relationship.

Some ace people are romantic and may be in common-law relationships that are, by their understanding of the terms, romantic but non-sexual. I don't presume to dictate what words they should use to describe their relationship to others. OTOH, some ace/aro people may be in common-law relationships where there is no romantic feeling. The way I understand it, the feeling between them would essentially be a feeling of very close friendship. However, it's perfectly understandable that they would want some other term to explain what they are to each other, as the word "friendship" would likely feel inadequate in conveying the extent of their practical (and perhaps emotional) commitment to each other.

There's probably sexual predators on the fringes of every fandom. The MLP fandom has been very proactive in policing their porn to keep it away from younger fans for a long time. I'm not in the fandom, but I've read enough about it and even seen it in action to know they have their shit together with keeping the dirty stuff away from kids.

Agreed. This was basically what I was getting at, only I didn't go into detail.
I think it could have been very interesting if the tone from the first two books had actually continued all the way through - it would have been a wildly different series, however...

I wonder if the series would have gotten as popular without the off-the-wall elements of the first books. I still remember the sense of wonder when I first read them way back when, and that wonder was kind of gone by the seveneth book (not to say I didn't enjoy it).

The field I took a diploma in. Won't state it, but the fact that I'm posting this on F!S might help you guess.

I'm now getting a certification in a different area.

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[ SECRET POST #3254 ]

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Re: The last two series: power and world

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Re: What are your regrets, F!S?

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Re: What are your regrets, F!S?

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Re: Does it make me a bad person if

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Re: What do you consider cyberstalking?

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Re: What are your regrets, F!S?