[ SECRET POST #3297 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3297 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 030 secrets from Secret Submission Post #471.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[sarillia]

Even among people who feel sexual attraction there are people who don't care about sex and would be fine in a relationship without it. I'm getting a little tired of the false dichotomy where you're either asexual or sex is incredibly important to you. It's more complex and variable than that.

I agree that the opposite, denying that sex is important to anyone, is annoying too. But I'm not fond of swapping one broad generalization for another.

[(Anonymous)]

To add to the variable and complex-- two people who are invested in making a relationship work will find a way. There are options between 'ace partner has to have a lot of sex to make non-ace partner happy' or 'sexless relationship.'

Mutual masturbation, frottage, a whole ton of 'intimate' activities that don't necessarily require nudity or penetration. Or the oft ignored 'open relationship' option that allows the sexual partner to have non-romantic physical relationships with other people.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

I really loathe all the "SEX IS SUPER IMPORTANT, NON-ASEXUAL PEOPLE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT OUT" rhetoric that's come up in backlash to the perceived faults in the asexual community.

[a_potato]

Yeah.

I think OP is conflating orientation with drive a little bit. As an example, it's typical for women who have just given birth to have no desire for sex (for a whole host of completely understandable reasons). It can take months, even years, for their libidos to recover. But that doesn't mean that, for that time period, they've become asexual; it means they're a sexual person with a low or non-existent sex drive.

Sex and sexuality really aren't as simple as they're often made out to be.