Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2016-01-13 06:37 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2016-01-13 06:37 pm
[ SECRET POST #3297 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3297 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 030 secrets from Secret Submission Post #471.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-01-14 01:49 am (UTC)(link)Lmfao uh...no. Possible people who would be into dating trans women who are not chasers:
Bisexual cis women. Cis lesbians who are okay with non-op trans women (I know a couple who are exactly this!). Pansexual cis women. Bisexual cis men. Pansexual cis men. Straight cis men who are okay with non-op trans women. Bisexual and pansexual and straight trans men. Bisexual trans women. Lesbian trans women. Pansexual trans women.
Look at all those choices, and not a chaser amongst them! :O
no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-01-14 02:00 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-01-14 02:21 am (UTC)(link)I don't think you get what a "chaser" is. Generally a chaser is someone who views transsexuals as exotic living breathing sexual toys, a dildo with a heartbeat. Someone can be attracted to trans people without turning them into a disgusting porn stereotype. I'm a trans guy, and I've dated cis gay men who are attracted to me, but who were respectful and placed my comfort sexually above any fantasies they may have had. I currently have a trans female FWB, and we both were super clear about respecting each other's boundaries, if we had any for one another.
Cis male chasers of trans women usually look something like this:
"I need a '100% passable' tranny with a fully functioning 7'' cock and she's gotta be vers (vers top preferred) and she's going to fuck my ass every night and let me suck on her dick until truly impressive mountains of sperm come out. I'm going to completely ignore the fact that the vast majority of trans women cannot get erections hard enough to penetrate an anus, and many trans women can't get reliable erections at all. I'm going to ignore the fact that the women in the porn I see are taking dangerous amounts of shit in order to achieve erections, and some have even stopped taking hormones entirely. I'm going to ignore the fact that many trans women have genital dysphoria and want it gone. I'm going to be sure to tell any possible trans women I meet that the vagina she may so desperately want is obviously inferior to her penis. I'm going to ignore the fact that HRT generally shrinks the genitals.
Basically, I'm just going to ignore absolutely every reality about being a trans woman that there is, and I'm going to look at trans women like cocks in a skirt, and not real people. Oh, and also? I'll act real entitled about this, and write articles about how I think trans women are wrong for labeling me a 'chaser' because they find my advances and insistence upon their genitals and what they do with them creepy and fetishistic. I'm the best they can do after all! Nobody without a huge fetish would ever want them dirty trannies!"
no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-01-14 02:28 am (UTC)(link)Trans myself but I only get my dates through face to face interactions so, while I've likely met a few cis male chasers, I'm guessing they make more of an effort in real life? I mean, my bf once cuddled up to me and whispered "I love chicks with dicks" but I wasn't turned off by it (on the contrary lol).
no subject
(Anonymous) 2016-01-14 03:36 am (UTC)(link)Unfortunately for trans women especially the chaser versus genuinely nice people who happen to be attracted to trans women is pretty dismal at times, mostly because chasers flood the market. The heavy history of trans women as sex objects for "curious" men has made a lot of trans women ultra aware of their surroundings in terms of dating people, and they're often on the lookout for chaserish behaviour. Any notions of wanting to be on the "down low" (i.e. "I'm ashamed to be seen with a trans woman in public"), constant bugging for sexual things that they're not willing to provide, etc, all rings the chaser alarms.
As for your boyfriend...I mean, that really depends on you and him. :) Does he treat you like a person? Does he respect your sexual boundaries if you happen to have any? My FWB and I definitely have little conversations like this if we're snuggling together and feeling a bit randy, and the sexualizaton of one another's bodies definitely goes both ways (in fact I'd venture to say she's more hot under the collar for "boys with bonus holes" than anything I've ever said! :P), but that's because we've discussed this together before. As long as your BF is treating you like more than his personal sex object and respects you as a person, that's totally fine! I'll be the first person to say that I think my FWB is a really attractive woman, and I love her body, but I also respect that she's an individual person who isn't my personal fetish dispensary. And she gives that same respect back. So it's all good!