fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3308 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3308 ⌋

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Notes:

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OP - Yeah, I kind of have similar feelings. He rubs me the wrong way and I don't quite trust him. Then I feel shitty for not trusting him when he does something thoughtful or kind.

They also snark at each other a lot as a couple, and I think that really bugs me. Because he seems to snark more? I hate that kind of behavior in a couple who are supposed to love each other.

Though I regularly remind myself I'm see this through all my own lenses, others have different views (including thinking Vic is shit for not treating the wonderful, perfect Jacob right).

But none of this makes me like him, or even trust him.

The author doesn't actually call the series romance, but I suppose I approach it that way in many respects. I want a satisfying romantic relationship, and theirs just doesn't do it for me. But I do like Vic, despite his flaws.

I really love Vic, and his flaws just make me like him even more. I think I kinda identify with him a little bit, so sometimes I catch myself living vicariously through him whenever he achieves some positive goal.

I also think my opinion on Jacob is affected by how I think Vic should react to him (ie- the way *I* would react to Jacob), and when he doesn't I get really frustrated as well. :| I have so many feelings on this goddamn series, lmao. I'm so invested!

Have you listened to the audiobooks yet? Gomez Pugh is like. Perfect for Vic, imo.

Hi again! Yeah, I've listened to some of the audiobooks. They're great. ^__^

I know what you mean about identifying with Vic, because I have a LOT of anxiety so I can understand where he's coming from with anxiety, if not the seeing ghosts stuff.

Yeah, I really like the character even when he's a mess.

But about Jacob again, I feel like Vic never really feels safe with him, like trusting him. He's always weighing what he tells him, avoiding letting Jacob see him vulnerable, trying not to let Jacob know what he's thinking or feeling, like he's always nervous.

I can understand being that way about many things in his life, because of past experiences, and like I said, the anxiety, but it seems like if he loves someone and is really in a healthy relationship there should be a lot more trust, more of a feeling of resting...not like he always has to try to impress or hide from Jacob. It makes me sad and frustrated. :/

I guess I feel like the main character never really feels safe with him. Maybe it's just Vic's nervous personality, but...he walks into Crash's store, and feels safe. He has an abrasive relationship with Crash; the guy bugs him, flirts with him constantly, and irritates him...but he feels safe there, and he's not afraid to talk to Crash.

Whereas with his boyfriend--the man he's in a committed relationship with and has sex with all the time, he seems to feel constantly guilty, nervous, or afraid--weighing up how much he dare say, whether he wants to admit to something, discuss something, etc. He seems to feel insecure around Jacob all the time.

I don't see anything abusive in the relationship--Jacob seems to treat him pretty well, although I always want to see more signs of romance and love there, I guess the guy just isn't big on putting it into words--but it feels like Victor is always ready to flinch. Like there is something dangerous there that he's afraid of with Jacob, even though he tells himself he feels safe with him.

I don't know. It bugs me that I feel that way.

I kind of wish he'd break up with Jacob and be with Crash. I know that's like, heresy, but I feel like he's more himself, more honest, and "safer" with Crash than Jacob. It shouldn't be that way. And this is while Crash is just a friend who annoys him a lot, and Jacob is the man he supposedly loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with. (!) And frankly Crash is far from perfect himself.

I don't realistically think it's going to happen, and a lot of fans of the series would be angry if it did, but I still sort of think he would be happier if he and Jacob broke up and he started dating Crash.

But Crash doesn't even believe in monogamy... And the author clearly means the two main characters to be together for life. I would be happy about that...if I could just like and trust Jacob a little more. I find him totally irritating most of the time, an alpha-hole with bossy, overbearing tendencies.

I literally wrote a story where they break up and Vic and Crash get together for a happy ending, just to get out some of my feelings. I wouldn't disrespect the author by posting it anywhere, but it made me feel a lot better.

Anyway yeah, I have a lot of feelings about the series. :) I hope it has a good ending.

i love everything about this post *squishes it and holds it tight*

[ SECRET POST #3308 ]

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