[ SECRET POST #3357 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3357 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #480.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[dinogrrl]

I was wondering this myself. If not being in a romantic relationship is bringing that much misery and making you think of yourself as 'broken', that's...really kinda something you need to get figured out. I admit to not being very familiar with a lot of aromantic people but I mean I thought the whole point was that romance wasn't a thing for them. They certainly never mention having negative emotions from not being in a romantic relationship or anything.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I do understand that if OP is young (and this isn't knocking them if they are) that you get a LOT of flack and comments from every tom, dick, and harry about not being in a relationship and that can honestly chip away at you if you let it.

I was lucky that my parents never ever joined that, "Well WHY aren't you in a relationship?? YOU'RE JUST NOT TRYING!" thing that a lot of people around you do tend to comment, just because we do seem to be wired/influenced by culture and media that relationships are either romantic or not at all.

This is why I think OP should talk to someone if they're feeling broken or wrong about being aro/ace, because not wanting a romantic relationship should NEVER make you feel that way.

[dinogrrl]

*nods* Exactly.
And unfortunately, it's not just young people who get it. Especially if you're female, you're probably going to be getting those comments throughout your life (I'm almost 30 and still get them from time to time). :/ sooo yeah, the younger you can make the tools to build yourself up and deal with the things that brought you down to begin with, the better.

(I'm not aromantic, but I'm asexual/childfree. My tool for dealing with jerks was mostly being completely mind-boggled at the suggestion that I should be unhappy or that I wasn't 'truly happy', like wtf I am really happy right now, why should I consciously trade that in for unhappiness where is the logic in that????)

[(Anonymous)]

*high fives~* 32 and ace/childfree. I still get some of those comments from co-workers (especially new ones), but I'm happy with who I am, with friends and family, why on earth would you feel 'bad for me' because I'm not living the life you have?

[dinogrrl]

My excuse is always "I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, why would I want to add another person's problems into that?" :p
But I mean seriously, if my life was making me so unhappy, I'd say so. But I'm not, so I don't. Stop trying to harsh my squee, man.

[(Anonymous)]

It's really not easy to accept an uncommon orientation or sexuality. I mean, it's not always easy for gay people to accept their sexuality and by now most of the world at least acknowledges that's a thing.

I have accepted that I'm ace (which is different from aro), and most days I'm pretty cool with it. But other days I feel like a broken bit of scum for being different.

It's easy to say "you need to work on that" if you've never experienced how miserable it can feel being outside the norm and getting that message all your life about how weird it is not to be (fill in the blank).

:/

[dinogrrl]

It can be hard when you don't fall completely withing the bell curve of 'typical human experience', which, for the record, yes, I have experienced in a few ways. When I say to work on not disliking yourself so much for being different, it comes from a place of experience and sincerity. Will it be easy? Not always, and not at first, and there will always be days you'll be questioning why you're the way you are, when something happens to make your insecurities rear their ugly heads again. But learning ways to quiet the negative voice is important, 'cause you're kinda stuck living with yourself your whole life so you might as well make it as comfortable for yourself as possible. ;}