fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3357 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3357 ⌋

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I found out my mom had an abortion before I was born. So I could have had a sibling.

(She did not tell me, I accidentally found a document in the aftermath of a burglary.)

I am a 100% pro-choice, but I still feel weird about it. Maybe more so because I never had a real sibling (I have a half-siblng, but we did not grow up together).
It's been a few years since I found out now, and I occasionally still think of it.

My mom had one miscarriage and one baby that died just after birth before I was born. That has always been weird to me. I could have had two brothers (they were both boys).

But then again I wouldn't have existed nor my sister if they'd lived. Because my parents were always firm on two kids. And I wouldn't trade my sister for a hundred brothers even though I've always loved the idea of having a brother.

See, that's the thing. I don't know if I'd been born then, either. I mean, afaik I wasn't planned. If they already had another kid, they might not have kept me - so it might be a moot point to begin with, but yeah.

It's just strange to think about siblings you might have had. It has nothing to do with being pro-choice. You aren't saying she did something wrong. It is just weird to think about possibilities.

More likely, you could have not existed. If she'd had the first kid, would she have been likely to then have you?

I honestly don't know. I wasn't planned.So that depends on if she'd have thought "might as well have another" or "never again". A lot of that would have depended on what the first one would have been like. I think my mom planned to have 2 originally...but then I was born. Oops.

My mom had an early miscarriage of what would have been a second sibling to me. Could have had another brother or sister.

I don't usually consider it though, because she was pretty open with us about it at the time (I think I was 3 or 4) and I and my brother just sort of accepted it as the way of the world. As one does, at that age.

There are all sorts of reasons to terminate a pregnancy. I tend to think that usually if someone makes that decision they have a very good reason for doing so.

Well, my mom is the kind of person who'd abort by default if there was something wrong with the fetus - that much I know. But given it was 7 years before I was born, I think it's more likely she considered herself too young.

Well, too young is too young. Better to abort than to become a parent when you don't want to and potentially be a bad one. Or worse, regret it and have that color your entire relationship with your children for the rest of your life.

A couple of years back I found out that my sister was originally a twin, but he was stillborn. It's weird because neither my parents nor my relatives have ever talked about it. I don't think my sister even knows about it. I found out by accident when I stumbled across the death certificate and I think the weirdest part for me is the fact that he had a name. I don't even know why I get so hung about that, but it makes the fact that I should have had a big brother even stranger because I know what he would have been called.

There's a history of miscarriages and stillborn children on my father's side of the family too. Finding out that my mother also had a stillborn is sort of worrying, tbh. Especially as my sister is pregnant right now. :/ (The baby is fine as far as we know, but I guess the whole thing is just more on my mind than usual.)

(Also, I was a complete accident and surprise because my mother was not supposed to be able to get pregnant anymore when I was conceived. I never asked why but since I know about my sister's twin I can't help but wonder if maybe the reason for that isn't that she had some sort of procedure done after giving birth do a stillborn? It's most likely not, but I still wonder sometimes.)

I can only sympathize. My grandmother miscarried quite late, at over 5 months. Knew it would have been a boy by then, and she had named him, which I pretty much only found out in the last years of her life.

She had a rhesus negative bloodtype, while my granddad had positive - which basically meant her body would reject every subsequent child with a positive bloodtype. Nowadays, she would have just gotten a shot for it, but back then she was advised not to have more children.

It's weird, but sometimes I think: there might be an alternative reality out there where I have an uncle on mother's side, and a sibling.

My mom had four abortions because my dad didn't "believe" in birth control, not for religious reasons but because it wasn't "natural" and involved "chemicals," ie, he knew nothing about biology. He would't wear condoms because they ruined sex for him, and he thought humans were ruining the planet and it was irresponsible to make more, so he forced my
mom to have abortions and insisted, right up until I was born, that he and my mom were "thinking of having a baby." I'm pro choice, but I'm torn between sadness that I have no siblings and gladness that my mom didn't pop out a mini replica of my dad (or her dad, who made my father look sane and kind.)

I recently (as in in the last few years) made a handful of discoveries about my parents that got me thinking about how I did grow up and how it might have been very different, and I think it's a zero-sum game, but sort of irresistible none the less. It's big of you to respect your mom's decision so much.

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