[ SECRET POST #3357 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3357 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #480.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Friend Dumping

[(Anonymous)]

classic disclaimer of my experience =/= everyone's, ymmv, yadda yadda

I don't enjoy confrontation, no matter what scenarios my brain likes to envision when I'm awake with insomnia and rage, so I've gone the "avoid contact" route. That includes not engaging when they attempt to start shit. I have no idea what I would say if someone actually asked - the only person I've ever cut off never even noticed.

But explaining? It depends on the type of shitty behavior and the source. In my case, the person is so narcissistic that even if I tried saying something, they would not accept it. They wouldn't believe it, and I would be turned into the devil. It's everyone else's fault but hers, I've already seen it with the 3-4 other friends who have also cut her off. One tried explaining, the narcissist responded with something along the lines of "why do you make me hurt you." So if this shitty person in your life is the type to turn everything into how the whole world is against them, explanations will just fall on deaf ears.

However I don't have any problem with people who need to tell them why their behavior is shitty for their own sake, to get it off their chests. Some people can't cut off contact without that closure and I'm not the person to say whether that's right or wrong.

Re: Friend Dumping

[(Anonymous)]

That's why I hate when people say "tell him/her how you feel." If someone is making you feel that badly, they probably either don't care or won't admit it. It's fine advice some of the time, but a lot of the time it'll make things worse.

I mean, my boss once told me to tell a bully coworker how I felt. It didn't go over well, because she really would not believe me. (In fact, everything you describe sounds just like her.)

DA

[(Anonymous)]

This has been my experience too with people who's behavior was bad enough I considered it. They always turn it back on you, and make it out to be your fault, of will constantly pull up "but you weren't innocent either". It's like talking to a child. If they ask I'll tell them before cutting ties. But I don't have time for being told why their shitty treatment of me is really my fault.