fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3364 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3364 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Glass Scientists]

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03.

[Ghostbusters remake]

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04.

[All for One Webseries]

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05.

[Castle]

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06.

[DC Comics]

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07.

[Reign of Fire]

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08.

[Steven Universe]

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09.

[K. Tempest Bradford]

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10.

[Against the Wall]

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11.

[Queer Literature, "In the Company of Shadows"]

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12.

(Star Wars Rebels)

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13.

[Jeeves and Wooster, P.G. Wodehouse]

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14.

[Giles Coren]

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15.

[James Marsters/Rick Grimes of The Walking Dead]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 086 secrets from Secret Submission Post #481.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can't express how much I hate this sentiment. It's fine if you're talking about your own situation but when other people say it. Is it meant to be comforting? Yes, things could be worse. Things could always be worse. But, guess what, they could be better as well?

It's so dismissive and unhelpful. Amazingly, thinking about how much worse things could be doesn't make me feel better.

I'm sorry anon but, it can't be helped.

What are you talking about

But everything's gonna be daijoubu

;____;

*tips fedora*

Ah, what can you do though.

I don't know what to tell you. This is why I never attempt to comfort people. I know I'll stick my foot in it.

I always say "it could be worse" in reference to my own shit--almost always when somebody is expressing sympathy and I get uncomfortable (particularly if it's to do with chronic illnesses/other things that will never change or go away). I'd never say it to somebody else about their shit, though, unless they REALLY needed perspective.

I usually say this to myself, rather than others. I do find it comforting to realize I actually have a great life.

Same. Like sparrow_lately, I suffer from a chronic illness (a few actually), but when people bring it up all, "Omg how do you deal, I would die, blah blah" I do say things like, "It could be worse."

Because it COULD be worse. I have a co-worker who's battling cancer. I have two friends with depression. Okay sure, some days I can't walk and some days breathing is a struggle, but it could be worse!

I would never ever say it to someone else though. I've been tempted to, when it's someone moaning over something 'stupid' (IMO), but *shrug*, again, it's my opinion that what their whining about is stupid. It's obviously something that's important to them.

Well, I'm also in chronic illness town (much less so these days), so yes. This is very much my life outlook as well.

I can see how it would work for some people. I have depression, though, so knowing that it could be worse has no effect on how I feel about things. How I react to things has more to do with my depression than anything else, and knowing that it could be worse doesn't stop my depression from affecting me.

My sister does this all the time. I love her, but I never tell her about anything I'm going through anymore because this is always her response. Not helpful.

Yes, it is meant to be comforting so that you don't wallow in self-pity. Some people mean it and some people just say it to not remain silent about it and seem cold. It is how it is.

It's not mean to be comforting so much as it's meant as an indication that (general) you need to get some perspective. It's generally aimed at people who are wailing over something that's actually fairly trivial as though it's the end of the world.

It isn't always applicable - if someone's actually struggling with something major, you should keep your mouth shut - but with people who are fussing endlessly over trivial problems that they could easily solve? It could be worse.

Ultimately I find that the most common application of it is towards people with genuine complaints, because most people don't give a shot shit about other people's problems. I view it on the same level as sneeringly calling "first world problems" when it's not applicable.

And in my experience it's most commonly applied to people who're flipping out about something that's the very definition of first world problems.

And I mean like, 'the barista got my order wrong and I don't want to get up and get it corrected, so I'll sit here drinking it while bemoaning my horrible unjust fate' kind of things. Yeah, it's a dismissive thing to say, but the complain is ridiculous and easily corrected in the first place.

For me it's more along the lines of "my laptop broke and I can't afford to buy a new one and a lot of my income comes through work I need my laptop for."

Wow. I'm sorry, those people are assholes.

Re: It Could Be Worse

dethtoll - 2016-03-21 02:32 (UTC) - Expand

You don't know that person, though. Something may be trivial to you, but that doesn't mean it is trivial to them. There are many reasons people may react more strongly than you to something. I have depression, which means that sometimes minor things affect me more. Knowing that it could be worse doesn't help because I don't have control about how I feel.

I usually agree, at least in terms of the sorts of things that are often brought up on this page.

Yeah my dad brought this up a few months ago, how shitty it made him feel when people say things like this. Yes, he wasn't on his deathbed like a relative, but hearing it didn't make him feel better, it just made him feel terrible for that person. And yeah, he was still dealing with chronic pain and a terrible infection/joint issue.

It really is a terrible thing to say to someone, to dismiss their pain that way. I've really heard it more times than I want to in my entire life. It's usually my mom trying to cheer me up which is awful. Yeah, it actually doesn't cheer me up to learn about other people's pain when I'm in pain?? It actually just makes me feel worse because I'm feeling bad for them too???

reminds me of a song by Tim Minchin - someone has it worse than me.

you sound like my ex boyfriend.