[ SECRET POST #3365 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3365 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09. [repeat]


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #481.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

It's both.

[chardmonster]

Here's the thing about sexuality: it isn't a thing until it is. It's very easy to say it doesn't matter if it's not something you have to openly be. Does that make sense?

So when I was with a dude bisexuality was just a 'preference' or orientation (I think that's what you really mean, OP?). The reasons for that are complicated. It felt a bit weird to be all "AND ALSO GIRLS!" when I was in a relationship with a guy. Why talk about who else you'd be interested in? I was also with a person who very openly wanted things to never be things--made fun of people who care about identity, that sort of thing--so I wanted to be cool. It wasn't supposed to matter so I made it not matter. And guys like that. I think a lot of bisexuals find themselves in situations where their orientations are more or less fetish fodder for their opposite sex partners and you like to make people happy so you go with it.

But that started to change a bit when I was single again. Suddenly all the girls who insisted on wearing yoga tights that outline their entire behind (why do that? why?) weren't just background scenery. Also, you know, I could date.

I'm with a girl now. She's absolutely wonderful. But suddenly I have to worry about things. She asked me to rein in pda a little--I've never had to worry about that, considering it'd been only guys before. Suddenly I'm feeling this as a thing rather than what I'm into, because now it's something I actively have to deal with.

But it's complicated. I'm an academic who's terrified of telling anyone on campus. I'm not worried about friends really-they're fine, and they'll know soon. It's academe. If they figure out I'm not straight and I'm working on a women's history project... suddenly I'm a Queer Academic! And I don't want this to be an Identity thing when it comes to my writing. I've read very little theory because that's just not how I work. I'm going to be the person being told I haven't read enough queer theory to talk about my own experiences. That is lame. I'm probably afraid of nothing but waiting until after your dissertation defense to come out is kind of a hilarious situation.