[ SECRET POST #3368 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3368 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 093 secrets from Secret Submission Post #481.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

I find my partner very attractive. I love the idea of having sex with him. I love all the physical affection leading up to sex. I can't handle the pain when he's inside me. And it's messing us both up. If we do try to have sex and he ends up hurting me he feels really bad about it. If we don't have sex, he feels like I'm not attracted to him. It sucks. I hate that my health problems are taking everything from me.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

You just described my marriage.

And no, I do not want to give him a blow job because then my jaw hurts.

And no, I do not want to give him a hand job because then my wrist hurts.

Sex is nothing but enjoyment for him and pain for me.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT Oh, that actually sounds much worse than my situation. I want to have sex but the physical pain stops me and my partner's very understanding about it. It just wears on his self-esteem in ways neither of us can help.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

My husband is very understanding as well. I don't think many men would stay in a near sexless marriage. Sometimes I wish he would just cheat on me so I wouldn't have to feel so guilty for being so sexually unavailable.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

Is an open marriage a possibility? I suggested my partner get sex elsewhere since it genuinely wouldn't bother me but he hated the idea.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm scared to bring it up, and I think he is, too.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

Has he never done anything at all for you, or are cunnilingus, clitoral rubbing, and vibration all painful for you, too?

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

So let me understand you... your partner knows that you love the idea of sex with him and that you want to have sex with him, but your health problems prevent this and he STILL tells you that he thinks this problem is about him and his attractiveness?

Wow. Just wow. I understand feeling undesirable and insecure, but this isn't something you chose or have much control over, right? You'd change it if you could. So why would he put an extra, totally unnecessary burden of guilt upon you for not being healthy enough to have sex without pain? This isn't even about him.

I don't mean to suggest that your partner is being an ass, but it seems to me that he could be more empathetic and understanding about the situation you're both in.

Re: How are you sexually dysfunctional?

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, he doesn't "know" I want sex. He has his own (mental) health issues, one of those being low self esteem and not thinking anyone could find him attractive. I tell him how attractive I find him all the time but, depression and the self-loathing that comes with it being what it is, he can't really believe it.

And I've probably explained it really badly. It's not like he runs around me in a one person circle of shame saying how unsatisfied he is. He isn't trying to make me feel guilty and he'd certainly never pressure me to do it despite the pain. But I feel guilty anyway.