[ SECRET POST #3375 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3375 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Anna Russell]



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02.
[Versailles TV Series]


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03.
[Jurassic Park, Robert Muldoon]


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04.
[Iggy Pop]


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05.
(Person of Interest)


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06.
[Knight Rider, Michael/KITT]


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07.
[The Division]


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08.
[Song referenced in secret: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlCZ-DakfyE (Kaleo- "Way Down We Go")]


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09.
[One Punch Man, Saitama, Genos]


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10.
[Haikyuu]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #482.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

I can't speak to violence or abuse, but other stuff:

[chardmonster]

I can't speak to violence or abuse, but other stuff: stuff like doing things that end up hurting your own life, staying when you know things aren't right, putting up with a lack of satisfaction (however you define that) without seeking something else, etc:

A lot of it has to do with poor self esteem. If you think you can never do better... you're going to assume this is the best it gets. The person you're with might be weird, or just wrong for you in some way... but you can't imagine better. Better doesn't want you.

There's also a certain measure of fatalism. We live in a society that trains women especially to be prepared to be disappointed in men especially. If they act childish, well--all men are childish! They're going to be ridiculously oversensitive because that's just how they are. If they're lecherous, well: all men have wandering eyes! Better put up with a lot lest he'll cheat on you. If you don't give him certain things he'll just go elsewhere. If he does cheat: well, men do that! Right? You're lucky to have the jerk you have.

Of course not all men do that. I venture to say most men aren't like that. But if you look all over media that's the message we get: boys will be boys. So you don't leave to seek out another partner because you think about the good things and figure the next guy might be worse than the current one. Compound that will poor self-esteem and you have a real problem. Compound that with the fact that really shitty people tend to actively target people with poor self-esteem or otherwise perceived low prospects (age, weight, power imbalance, etc) and you have a perpetrator. But it doesn't require that last bit, it can happen on its own.

So you do all sorts of things. You give up--or more likely, don't apply for or attempt--job or travel opportunities. You limit yourself. You ignore or alter relationships with people who care about you if they say something bad about your partner. And yeah, some might engage in actively harmful activities.

Edit: It's important to note that a lot of these things might have nothing to do with the other person being shitty. Not every toxic relationship involves someone being awful. Sometimes you're just not right for each other. But one person stays anyway because... again, they think they can't do better, or the belief that every relationship is like this so why mess this up?