fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3378 ]

[ SECRET POST #3378 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3378 ⌋

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I honestly don't know how to deal with the fact that on the one hand my parents are kind and generous and loving and the fact that they are extremely homophobic and would probably disown me if they knew I was bi.

It is like they are completely different people on that one particular issue. And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel. Because I do love them. They've done so much for me. But they also wouldn't accept this big part of me and sometimes I hate them for that.

*hug*

I don't know how my parents would react personally but I'm still afraid to tell them. So far only my brother knows.

Every time I consider saying something, they'll say something homophobic again. They're just really religiously conservative. Less so than they were when I was a kid. They are mostly Democrats now in terms of economics and views on poverty and poor people and such things. But not on this.

Ahhh that sucks. My parents can be the same. Religion wise they are big on the whole "love your neighbor" thing which is cool, and they don't believe in stuff like picketing people who support LGBT and stuff. But every now and then they'll say something that reminds me and makes me want to leave the room.

On New Years Eve when Catilyn Jenner was mentioned my Dad made some comment and it was so awkward to be there. I just sat there silently praying the subject would change.

My parents have made comments about how they see similarities between businesses not serving LGTBQ people and Jim Crow laws and that they don't support that sort of discrimination. And they seem to think this makes them accepting even though they "don't approve of the life choices" of LGTBQ people. Ugh.

The funny thing is, my mom at least is less transphobic than she is homophobic. Mostly because she says she doesn't see anything in the Bible saying anything about that as apposed to homosexuality.

You know I kinda want to point that out to my folks if they ever say anything about it. "technically there's nothing in the Bible against it, or even about it."

But I'm kinda too chicken to get into that conversation.

I think I may be able to tell my dad one day (that I'm bisexual), I feel like he might be more open minded about it. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell my mom.

Honestly, I'm just not brave. I think it will depend on who I end up with. If I'm in a serious relationship with a woman, I'll tell them. But otherwise, I don't think I have the courage too. I wish I did, but I'm such a homebody and I also have a need to be liked. I know they'd keep loving me, but I don't think they'd like me anymore and I'm not sure I could handle that.

Oh that's completely understandable. I get that, and that's why I'm not telling my mom either. I know she'll love me but I won't be able to handle the disapproving comments.

It sucks that people have to worry about that.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that, knowing that they'd want nothing to do with you if you told them is an awful thing to go through. *many internet hugs*

I sometimes think maybe my dad knows I'm bi, but we never talk about it but I at least know he wouldn't care. My mum... idk. She wouldn't disown me but she doesn't believe it's a thing and I think she would just dismiss it anyway since I'm dating a guy.

It's honestly one of the reasons I've not come out to more than 2 people irl, I feel that because I'm dating a man there's no point and I just feel like people would think I'm trying to be a special snowflake or something.

I kind of want to be more open about it but really I'm just way too scared to do it.

I feel like they might not even actually believe it. Because I've been open about my attraction to men. And I never talked about any attraction I had to women. I only recently accepted that side of me myself. So I think they'd probably just think it is a phase even though I'm 30.

Yeah I get that, if you've only talked about being attracted to men then there's just this thing that because you haven't been open about it before now(out of fear/nerves/whatever) they'll think you're lying. Or confused :\

The one relief is that my sister knows. And my law school friends know. So I'm not completely alone. And my sister will stand with me if I ever do come out to the parents.

I'm glad you've got some people to stick by you, I thought you had no one which would be absolutely horrible.

Yes. Although, my sister and my parents don't have the best relationship, and I know I'd feel bad for making things worse. But whatever. She's on my side, and I do appreciate that.

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[ SECRET POST #3378 ]

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