[ SECRET POST #3386 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3386 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Bit early today, sorry!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #484.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

News discussion

[(Anonymous)]

Because I have one-

Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

Utah courts just reaffirmed polygamy being illegal. That is, it's illegal to purport that more than one person is your "spouse", even if you are legally married to only one.

I don't really get this. In practice, fuck most polygamist religious cults because this is generally done for sexist reasons, and is frequently tied up with underage girls being "married".

But legally, it's one thing to say the law will only allow one legal marriage at a time, but how can you say it's wrong for someone to be "spiritually married" to others? What about non-religious polymorous people?

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

You're going to have to give me more specifics.

Is it illegal to claim, like to a friend, that you and two people are spiritually married?

Or is it illegal to claim, like on your health insurance, tax returns, and other legal and totally unrelated to spirituality things, that you and two people are spiritually married?

Because you can't do the latter in any other state either.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

The previous.

The cases in Utah among Mormons, it's almost always the case that only one is a legal spouse, the others are not. They simply live together and call themselves spouses - which is what is illegal.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

It's not being ruled illegal in a vacuum. As you say, it's because religious cuckoobirds decide that the young girls need to be married to the all-powerful prophet whether they like it or not.

Among consenting adults? Have at it, I suppose, though I could see it leading to certain legal entanglements. It would have to be negotiated almost like a partnership agreement - which wife/husband gets to make medical decisions if their partner is incapacitated? Who goes on the title of the house? How should their wills be written so as to be interpreted clearly?

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Can more than one spouse be made beneficiary on an insurance policy? And what about medical coverage? Could more than one spouse be considered "family" and brought under the same coverage? How would we avoid sham marriages, if people could marry more than one person? Maybe they would get married just for insurance or just for citizenship, particularly if it's not a one-at-a-time deal.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

But it is ruled illegal. Authorities just say they won't go after polygamists who otherwise follow the law.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah the paperwork and legal entanglements would be absurd.

How would money get split up in a divorce? What if they parent a child together. Who gets custody? I can see a less progressive judge only giving it to the genetic parents.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[chardmonster]

You can't really compare polygamy to polyamory, though. In just about most western models of polygamy (barring poly folks trying to use the term for some damn reason) it's a patriarchal thing. It's always one guy and multiple wives, with a definite power hierarchy.

Polyamorous people who aren't creepy don't work like that.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

But you're just talking about one model of polygamy. Taking the word by its own definition alone, there's nothing that obligates it to only mean one man, multiple wives in a religious conservative context. What else would the opposite of monogamy be? If polyamorous people were to have multiple marriages, "symbolic" or "lawful" regardless, I would assume the correct term describing their situation would be polygamy.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[ariakas]

Polygamy's kind of like communism, I suppose. In theory, it could work. In practice, through sheer numbers, women end up taken advantage of and young men end up thrown out of the community onto the streets because their existence means a threat to the men already in power.

Modern day polyamory where the women themselves are free to find multiple lovers too, if they so choose? Totally different story. But you still get into the bind of who's entitled to what estate-wise. I guess that's what a will is for.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[sparrow_lately]

Polygamy's kind of like communism...In theory, it could work. In practice, through sheer numbers [it's worth protecting people against legally]

MTE

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

The kind of polygamy under discussion should be illegal, since it's basically an excuse for underage and/or unwilling women to have to marry some gross creep for religious reasons (that basically amount to "my religion says old white dudes are entitled to have sex with lots of pretty young women so we can outbreed the heathen"). I dunno about a group of people just deciding to marry each other; it sounds like a gigantic clusterfuck for things like health insurance, retirement benefits, potential divorce and custody agreements, etc, but aside from that it's not really my business. I personally am very much not into it (too selfish and jealous to share tbh) but if they wanna give lawyers headaches and possibly make them very rich I don't care.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[(Anonymous)]

See, I am not opposed to monogamous legal marriage for the reasons you state - it'd a legal headache.

But I don't care if consenting adults all live together and consider themselves spouses, even if they aren't "legally" married.

Re: Should polygamy be illegal?

[blitzwing]

But legally, it's one thing to say the law will only allow one legal marriage at a time, but how can you say it's wrong for someone to be "spiritually married" to others?

Well fuck, I guess I'm committing bigamy since I have more than one robot waifu.

Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes I like to feel angry and checking out the news always does the trick



“It’s a great shame that your uncle touched you in that nasty place — you get some of my sympathy — but your self pity gets none of my sympathy.
Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity, get rid of it because no-one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. The irony is we’ll all feel sorry for you if you stop feeling sorry for yourself — just grow up.”

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I cannot post the link because the anti-spam captcha will not load.


Search "Stephen-Fry-sparks-fury-after-comments-on-child-abuse-and-rape"

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Wooow that's ...wow. Trauma is self pity now?

Urgh, he seems to be one of those "I pulled myself out of my problems so everyone should be able to do the same or I have no sympathy for them" types. Hate those types of people.

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[diet_poison]

BOOOOOOTSTRAAAAPS

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

"we'll feel sorry for you if you stop feeling sorry for yourself" is one of the most bullshit comments I've seen in a while. Saying no one will like you if you have self pity isn't encouraging actual healing - its just encouraging people to bottle up emotions and only present them in a way that is palatable and doesn't make people uncomfortable.

And of course all the comments on articles on this are praising him for not "bowing to the PC police"

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, he clearly has no idea how trauma actually works.

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, for awhile now I've tried to give Stephen Fry the benefit of the doubt, like maybe his quotes were taken out of context, but...wow. What a terrible human being.

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

Way to leave out the context there, anon. This was specifically in reference to people who use safe spaces and triggers as an excuse to claim that they can't possibly be exposed to even the word "rape".

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

This comment was still super insensitive and ignorant. I did read it in context. It does not excuse or make what he said any better. He took his comments way to far.

Re: Stephen Fry says child sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’

[(Anonymous)]

"Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity"

I can think of uglier things. Unbridled hatred, for one. Lack of compassion, for another.

He does make a point that self-pity isn't helpful, but I don't see how phrasing it this way actually helps anyone.