[ SECRET POST #3393 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3393 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #485.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: TW Rape

[sparrow_lately]

I think any statistics to do with rape are tricky, because:
1) it's an under-reported crime, and is often only reported anecdotally (i.e., tell loved ones but maybe never law enforcement or other official sources) or long after the fact
2) its precise definition, particularly when it comes to anything other than, to be crude, violent or semi-violent PIV rape, is difficult to nail down, which means two people asking the exact same 100 individuals could come away with very difficult statistics, depending on what they were looking for
3) statistics about rape are almost always presented with an agenda


All that said, I think both estimates sound high, but your definitions and parameters matter. I do think we live in a culture that constantly, casually, and often unconsciously sexualizes unwilling/not explicitly willing participants and that many people, of any gender, don't quite learn how to communicate about sex with partners/potential partners when they're young. I think the assumption that young people are always having sex leads to too few "no"s, but that likewise does not a rapist make. I think women are taught to always see male attention as at the very least flattering, and men probably conversely taught that women always feel that way.

TL;DR: it's insanely complicated, but at a guess I'd say the first stat sounds quite high and the second a little less alarmingly high but still high

Re: TW Rape

[(Anonymous)]

I do think we live in a culture that constantly, casually, and often unconsciously sexualizes unwilling/not explicitly willing participants and that many people, of any gender, don't quite learn how to communicate about sex with partners/potential partners when they're young. I think the assumption that young people are always having sex leads to too few "no"s, but that likewise does not a rapist make.

I think this is such an important issue that really needs to be addressed - namely, that people are not mindreaders, and if you don't want something, you have to SAY so. Can you really call someone a rapist if they were under the belief that the sex was consensual/wanted because they were never given any reason to believe otherwise and if they would have stopped had they known that it wasn't? I don't think that's fair at all.

Re: TW Rape

[sparrow_lately]

I agree--so you get a weird middle ground where someone might feel a sexual experience was very negative for them, but their partner didn't really do anything wrong. Can that person say they were assaulted, if they need to, even if their "assailant" isn't a rapist?

It's tricky.

Re: TW Rape

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. And I think it's important to also clarify that you can have a negative sexual experience, but that doesn't mean it was rape. Sometimes you DO have sex that you regret afterwards. That doesn't mean it wasn't consensual at the time.