fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3396 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3396 ⌋

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[Robert DeNiro]

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Lately I've come across so many people who love sex, have high sex drives, and want to do it all the time but claim to be asexual. Or someone who doesn't like specific sexual acts but loves others and calls themselves asexual.

I've always had issues with the term because of the special snowflake association most people had with it, but it was still the closest thing to fit me out of the sexuality labels. But now it seems like it has a million different meanings and qualifiers and changes definition based on who you ask. I hate that I can't just say "I'm asexual" anymore, I now have to say "I'm asexual" AND "I have no interest in any sexual acts whatsover, and I don't want to do any of them" if I want to be clear, because some people have decided that you can be asexual and still be obsessed with sex and complain when you don't get it enough.

Grrr.

I feel you. Kissless virgin here by choice and I stopped identifying as asexual for a while now.

Just say I'm not interested in dating right now and keep it at that, way easier than explaining all the bullshit that comes with asexual.

Why don't you just say "I'm not interested in any sort of sex"?

It's always worked for me.

+1. I use this one as well. Short and to the point.

Lol yeah, I feel like a lot of people I follow identify as "gray-asexual" or "demisexual" and talk about how they want to get dicked all the time. It's hilarious. I'm not asexual, so I really don't understand why all these clearly horny people want to identify as "ace spectrum" or whatever lol.

Because they're far too socially awkward to get dicked, and rather than admit it, they prefer to feel superior by saying they were never playing the game to start with. Sour grapes, really.

DA

I wish I could find other people attractive. It looks like it's nice to be able to do that.

Yeah, WTF. I'm pretty sure that asexual refers to being averse to sex? It's so fucked up.

It's gotten to the point where I'm tempted to call bullshit every time I hear someone claim to be asexual. It's not right, but the label's meaningless now.

I think the better answer when asked is "none of your goddamned business." Because it really isn't anyone's business but yours and your partner(s) if applicable.

Yep. I see all this stuff about "coming out" as asexual online and I'm just like "...why?" Asexuality isn't really the same as being gay/straight/bi/etc. in that regard. I mean, I can tell them my romantic orientation and just say "I like boys/girls/whatever" if I feel like they need to know what gender to expect me to be in a relationship with, but I don't see how saying I'm not interested in having sex is really that much different than volunteering what my favorite position is or that I like to be spanked during sex. It's just not really relevant to anyone you're not dating (unless you're the type of person who just really likes talking about that sort of thing with people, in which case...go for it, I guess).

My sympathies.

I swear, there must be people out there who don't and can't understand I'm a straight female until I tell them I'm asexual towards women. Speshul snowflakes, all of them, fuckdammit.

SA

It's as if asexual got misdefined as non-pan sexual or non-omnisexual or some stupid tripe like that. Can't a person just say what they like and dislike instead of all this bs?

It seems Tumblr has created a culture where you literally have to define what you are by saying what you're not.

Ah. Every time I think it's time to start answering to the asexual label, something like this pops up.

I'm not sexually attracted to other people and don't like having sex with them, but I do like to read porn and masturbate, so I'm probably not asexual enough either.

I masturbate too (though it's just a biological urge to me; I don't read porn) but I get OP's point. I once read where someone claimed to be asexual but said they wouldn't want to be in a relationship without sex and that is stretching the asexual label a little too much imo.

I mean I do identify as asexual, though I'm not widely out (no point, imo, unless I feel like talking about it), but I really don't understand how you can be asexual if you want to have sex. I can't even imagine having sex. It would make life easier in some ways if I could bc then I'd have better romantic prospects (any???), but I'm learning to adjust and see benefits too.
What is the point of calling oneself ace if you don't meet some kind of minimum definition? Why even want to?

Why even want to?

a lot of the people I've seen who identify as asexual and love sex are hetero (not all of them obviously, but many) so I think they just want LGBT points or something tbh

Pretty much this.

I saw a tumblr post the other day that broke the different "kinds" of attraction into so many sub-categories literally anyone in the world could call themselves asexual or queer. platonic attraction, romantic attraction, sexual attraction, sensual attraction, aesthetic attraction, the list was fucking endless. I agree with others that it's hairsplitting designed to open the door to otherwise "boring" straight, cis people to be able to feel as if they're oppressed.

just know that outside of tumblr, most people will take your identity to mean "doesn't want to have sex" or "isn't sexually attracted," it's only in certain areas of discourse hell that people might assume you mean asexual but interested in sex.

Most asexual Lee don't feel widely or systematically oppressed? From what I've seen anyway. Most of us wish it was more widely talked about so you actually know what it is and don't spend years thinking you're an alien creature who isn't human bc SEX = HUMAN!!!!!1
But otherwise, not a lot of negative impact...???

People, not Lee
Autocorrect???

I remember Asexual Lee. Nice kid.

[ SECRET POST #3396 ]

Goddammit asexual people

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Re: Goddammit asexual people