fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3402 ]

[ SECRET POST #3402 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3402 ⌋

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #486.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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This is a long, convoluted rant. I was supposed to get a package (a replacement Kindle). It was delivered BUT it was delivered to my mother's work because the UPS guy just does that (even though it is addressed to me). So now I won't be getting it until tomorrow.

I am SO pissed about it. I messaged my sisters (A and B) on FB to rant and Sister A was basically like, "That is a stupid thing to be pissy over." And it is. But I expected something (that I was eagerly anticipating) and it was waylaid. I get that it is a stupid thing to be mad over.

But I am more mad about my Sister A replying to me like that. I am always there for both of them. ALWAYS. Sister A is always depressed and sometimes self harms. But I've always been there to literally keep her from killing herself. I'm the one who has an alarm set on my phone so I can remind her EVERY day to take her meds.

Sister B isn't as bad but I have had to talk her through panic attacks and keep her from becoming to stressed out about shit.

But I can't go off on them about this stuff because like I said, they are always on the verge of some meltdown or another. So I can't tell them that I am depressed and cripplingly lonely because I have to be the strong one. So that is why I get upset over something like this because it is the only way I can.

Oh my god, somebody call the Waaaaahmbulance.

Oh fuck you.

You really have to separate the delivery incident from every other negative thing you're experiencing, by itself it frankly is a stupid thing to get upset over, but your family members are only saying they disagree with how much weight you've put on it, they're not invalidating every negative feeling you've ever had. depression makes you attach incorrect levels of importance to things, don't overthink it.

This is true but it's also understandable that this could sort of be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

While I never condone getting disproportionately angry, I do think it's kinda shitty that OP has to emotionally prop up their sisters but isn't ever allowed to vent at them about anything themselves, assuming we have the whole story here, at least.

If not their sisters, OP should find someone who can be a support for them, and not because of silly things like missed deliveries.

I'm theoretically working for nineteen days in a row.

I'm going to take a few re-rostered days off the end, but it's going to be at least fifteen days straight working.

Which is fucked. Ahhhh.

I think my personal record was 62 days. I don't ever recommend it. XD

My admin at my larger school has sliced my library budget from $7.50/student to around $3.50/student because library is no longer a line in the global budget (and the province no longer requires schools to spend that money on libraries, so neither does our board). She wanted me to tell her how much I'd need to get just enough books to put out for the year, instead of having any on backlog which I do atm, a small backlog at that--I put about 80 out at the beginning of each month. I have enough right now for probably Sep to Nov/Dec. I put out May's today and there's no sign out in June. I told her I had no idea since that's never how my budget has worked.

But guess what? That backlog is gonna be shelved in June--I'll save enough to start with a rack of new books in September. And I'll makes sure to spend all of my budget and get all the new books out by, oh, December. What's additionally galling, is that this from an admin that couldn't afford toner for the library colour printer (from which I print colour print jobs for the teachers as well as my own stuff, like spine labels)a few weeks before budget year end, but somehow found the money to have a half dozen posters mounted on wood.

Not sure who I'm more angry at: the DOE, the board or my admin.

Are you in the US? 'cause I am and man our educational priorities are so fucked up, as a nation.

I feel like my relationship is dying. We love each other but we've been together over a decade and we've both changed so much. He seems so bored by everything I talk about now. And things are fine when we're both happy and strong but we both suffer from bad mental health problems and I can tell he loathes being around me whenever I'm anything but one hundred per cent happy. He never tells me when anything's bothering him either so we just end up being in total silence most of the time. A lot of the time I just wonder if he's only with me now because he thinks he can't do any better.

Sadly this sounds a lot like my relationship right now. Courage, anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5XNWFw5HVw

Have you talked to him about this?

Are you happy?

What about your relationship is different from a year ago, five years, the beginning?

Talk to one another, anon. If you can't do that, then the relationship is dead in the water. Maybe you're right and it's already dead in the water right now, but you won't know how to move forward until you sit down and have a talk with him.

He's back. Again. He's actually been around a lot but I've managed to wrangle work to just not be around or in the area.

I've been trying all the polite "I'm busy" signs and it is just not working, he's been outright asking for some one on one time to vent because he's stressed over personal and work life. I declined ... So he came to my desk to do it while I was working. Exactly as I expected, TMI on latest personal crisis with a side of complaining about work and bagging out his bosses... At my desk! Surrounded by my team! He also started crying so I felt bad. But also kind of desperate because I don't want to be involved in his HR dispute!

After 45 minutes I got him to leave, I think he left afterwards. He's not in now.

He also asked for a desk, a webcam and accomodation in that order. I said no to all of them.

He is so stressful. I feel bad, he's clearly having a mental breakdown but I don't want to be involved.

Sorry to hear that this is still going on, OP. I think it might be a good idea to write some kind of grievance report and hand it into HR. It's always best to have complaints on file in writing so that if it continues they can see just how often he's bothering you. Just explain that he is being disruptive.

Either that, or now is the time to be much more direct. When he comes to your desk and starts talking, tell him that you're busy and that you don't have time to chat. No subtle hints - people like him either don't understand or completely ignore anything short of a direct verbal refusal. You also mentioned that he asked to talk to you one on one, so what this guy clearly needs is counseling or therapy. Have you tried recommending this to him? If so, how did he react?

I really hope things get better!

He's got a counsellor apparently, also suggested he meet with works counsellor. He's also offended that he's being given disability options (it includes mental disability) which makes sense to me. But he's indenial, world is out to get him, can't trust anyone etc etc

I just want him to leave. Or me to leave, I'm job hunting now. Can't stand his bubble of stress.

He's not taking hints and avoidances, you're going to have to be direct and firm. DON'T let him run on for 45 minutes. Cut him off after one sentence, but do it kindly. Tell him that you're sorry, but you cannot discuss this. Talking about personal stuff is not professional, and complaining about work/bosses is also not professional. You said he has a counselor? Tell him he needs to talk to his counselor, you are NOT the appropriate person to discuss these things with. Absolutely do NOT agree to any one on one discussions, either in or outside of work.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
"I'm sorry, but I can't discuss this with you."
"I'm sorry, but no."

The more you cave in and let this guy use you as his agony aunt, the harder it will be to get him to stop. He's already come to view you as his dumping ground and frankly if this involves work, he's putting the both of you in potentially awkward positions if the shit hits the fan with HR. Tell him that, while you're telling him that you will ONLY be discussing PERTINENT work issues that is in your purview. Complaints about work or the bosses do not count. Keep stressing that he needs to take this up with his therapist, who is paid and trained to handle this. You are not.

Be polite, be kind, be compassionate, but don't give in.

Thank you I will try! I really am not qualified. I don't want to be rude but I'm running out of polite wiggle room and do realise he stopped being polite earlier!

I have, multiple times now, seen people on Tumblr refer to those who are attracted to 17/18/19 year olds as pedophiles and it's pissing me off A LOT. You think adults who go after 17 - 19 year olds are creeps? Fine, I understand that. But stop fucking trivializing pedophilia. It honestly disgusts me.

I think a lot of it is because a lot of the time, the people who are saying this are the people who are attracted to 16 year olds, and they're saying it precisely to minimize the harm of wanting to fuck 16 year olds. So people have a negative reaction to that. Because fuck those dudes.

It's creepy for adults to go after them, but if they're fully physically developed and have an adult body, why would it be creepy to find that attractive? That's what I don't get. There's a big difference between "finding attractive" and "wanting to date." I would never date a college student because they'd be more than ten years younger than me, but when the college football team jogs past my window with their shirts off, I'm sure as hell going to appreciate it.

My keyoard is utterly aoyig as the ad uttos wo't work uless I really push them.

I'm gettig a ew oe tomorrow.

Geez, that stinks.

Are you getting one of those keyboards that are made with flexible plastic? That might keep all the stupid crud that tortures mechanical keyboards from being an issue. They're much easier to keep clean.

Re: Rant Thread

mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com - 2016-04-28 21:01 (UTC) - Expand

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[ SECRET POST #3402 ]

Rant Thread

Mentions of Suicide, depression

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Crazy coworker

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