[ SECRET POST #3402 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3402 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #486.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Crazy coworker

[(Anonymous)]

He's back. Again. He's actually been around a lot but I've managed to wrangle work to just not be around or in the area.

I've been trying all the polite "I'm busy" signs and it is just not working, he's been outright asking for some one on one time to vent because he's stressed over personal and work life. I declined ... So he came to my desk to do it while I was working. Exactly as I expected, TMI on latest personal crisis with a side of complaining about work and bagging out his bosses... At my desk! Surrounded by my team! He also started crying so I felt bad. But also kind of desperate because I don't want to be involved in his HR dispute!

After 45 minutes I got him to leave, I think he left afterwards. He's not in now.

He also asked for a desk, a webcam and accomodation in that order. I said no to all of them.

He is so stressful. I feel bad, he's clearly having a mental breakdown but I don't want to be involved.

Re: Crazy coworker

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry to hear that this is still going on, OP. I think it might be a good idea to write some kind of grievance report and hand it into HR. It's always best to have complaints on file in writing so that if it continues they can see just how often he's bothering you. Just explain that he is being disruptive.

Either that, or now is the time to be much more direct. When he comes to your desk and starts talking, tell him that you're busy and that you don't have time to chat. No subtle hints - people like him either don't understand or completely ignore anything short of a direct verbal refusal. You also mentioned that he asked to talk to you one on one, so what this guy clearly needs is counseling or therapy. Have you tried recommending this to him? If so, how did he react?

I really hope things get better!

Re: Crazy coworker

[(Anonymous)]

He's got a counsellor apparently, also suggested he meet with works counsellor. He's also offended that he's being given disability options (it includes mental disability) which makes sense to me. But he's indenial, world is out to get him, can't trust anyone etc etc

I just want him to leave. Or me to leave, I'm job hunting now. Can't stand his bubble of stress.

Re: Crazy coworker

[(Anonymous)]

He's not taking hints and avoidances, you're going to have to be direct and firm. DON'T let him run on for 45 minutes. Cut him off after one sentence, but do it kindly. Tell him that you're sorry, but you cannot discuss this. Talking about personal stuff is not professional, and complaining about work/bosses is also not professional. You said he has a counselor? Tell him he needs to talk to his counselor, you are NOT the appropriate person to discuss these things with. Absolutely do NOT agree to any one on one discussions, either in or outside of work.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
"I'm sorry, but I can't discuss this with you."
"I'm sorry, but no."

The more you cave in and let this guy use you as his agony aunt, the harder it will be to get him to stop. He's already come to view you as his dumping ground and frankly if this involves work, he's putting the both of you in potentially awkward positions if the shit hits the fan with HR. Tell him that, while you're telling him that you will ONLY be discussing PERTINENT work issues that is in your purview. Complaints about work or the bosses do not count. Keep stressing that he needs to take this up with his therapist, who is paid and trained to handle this. You are not.

Be polite, be kind, be compassionate, but don't give in.

Re: Crazy coworker

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you I will try! I really am not qualified. I don't want to be rude but I'm running out of polite wiggle room and do realise he stopped being polite earlier!