case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-05-09 06:34 pm

[ SECRET POST #3414 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3414 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Property of Hate Webcomic]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #488.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2016-05-09 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
One thing that bothers me in both erotica and often in fic is that vanilla often still seems to mean a bit of male dom, just without the rules of BDSM. He's still in charge.
ariakas: (Default)

[personal profile] ariakas 2016-05-09 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that's just a social norm. Men are still expected to ask the girl out, to be the ones who make the first move in general - they're thus expected to take the lead in the bedroom, too.

Plus I think most women probably do prefer slightly dominant men, at least in my experience. I'm comfortable being in the minority, you know? There are still tons of guys who like girls who take charge, so it's not like you end up woefully undersexed if you stray from the norm. But as a result it's going to be more common in media, because it's more common RL.

(It does bother the shit out of me when it's laced with hypocrisy, like calling a man who won't take the lead a loser, whereas they're not a loser if they don't feel comfortable leading - only men!)

(Anonymous) 2016-05-09 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Plus I think most women probably do prefer slightly dominant men, at least in my experience.

No one here is going to believe that.
ariakas: (Default)

[personal profile] ariakas 2016-05-09 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Idk why should they, it's just conjecture and anecdotal evidence on my part. It's not like I have hard evidence to back it up.
philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2016-05-10 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
I think it might depend on what you mean? People assume that strong men are always dominant. I have a type that is the type of man that many would assume are dominant because they are take charge in their regular life, but actually are submissive in bed. I like imagining characters like Thor really like to give up control in the bedroom. So some might say I prefer dominant men, but I actually prefer bedroom only submissive men.

(Anonymous) 2016-05-09 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes! Which means that it's not labeled as such, and I can't weed it out just by looking at it. I'm not willing to read piles of maledom just to find one or two things with dynamics I like.
philstar22: (Default)

[personal profile] philstar22 2016-05-09 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly.
skeletal_history: (Default)

[personal profile] skeletal_history 2016-05-09 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes! It bothers me, too. And what bothers me more is the lack of alternatives, the homogeneity of the heterosexual relationship dynamic in all media, tbh.