[ SECRET POST #3415 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3415 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #488.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Apparently I worded some things wrong because a few other people have said the same things you did, but mostly I was just angry and needed to vent. She worries about me, but as I said in another comment, she's that way with pretty much everyone, it's just who she is. She's definitely not abusive, and doesn't try to isolate me or anything which is how I interpreted your "she wants you to depend only on her" comment (I'm sorry if I interpreted that wrong).

Aside from the other family members I'm close to, I have friends from work, my neighborhood, etc. (they're just not necessarily my age; most friends my age are busy with spouses/kids so I don't really see or talk to them much anymore, which is understandable). She did clarify later that she meant she didn't know how I knew that other people my age didn't call their moms as much because you don't usually say out of nowhere how often you talk to your parents, and I probably wouldn't have had reason to ask them.

We definitely will be having a talk once my dad is recovered, but until then I'm going to just try to deal with it because she's already really stressed and doesn't need more drama.

Anyway, I was angry at the time of the original comment, and I'm sorry for making it seem like a much bigger, worse situation than it really is. Thanks for your concern, though. :)

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

[(Anonymous)]

Fair enough, but abuse isn't just about isolating a person, you know. It's also about controlling how they spend their time, and making them feel guilty for wanting to do something that goes against what the abuser wants. When someone has a legitimate grievance, it's a very common tactic for abusers to turn it around and make it the other person's fault... which is pretty much what your mother did. You might've been frustrated, but bringing up the fact that you feel her demands are unreasonable resulted in backlash, yes? Backlash in which she strongly implies that it's not her fault, it's YOU who's the weirdo.

Then instead of acknowledging that maybe you could both come to a compromise over how much daily contact you have, she storms off with a parting emotional manipulation-- she's treating you as if your request was horrible, when it wasn't. In the moment, she thought it was better to threaten you with estrangement rather than moderating communication. That's just childish. And incidentally? The fact that you have to rationalize and minimize her behavior to other people is very telling.


I'm not saying your mom is a monster, but she does have some emotionally unhealthy approaches in how she deals with people, namely you. If there's drama, it's mostly of her own making. Your worry of perpetuating that "drama" is what will result in you putting up with her behavior. You won't be able to draw appropriate boundaries unless you're able to take a step back and realize where those boundaries ought to be.

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

[diet_poison]

This is pretty much what I wanted to say, but worded much better.

OP, you deserve to not be smothered.

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Again, I apparently unintentionally misrepresented the situation in the original post, but what you've described is not the case at all. No one here knows my mom and I have a feeling that no matter what I say, people aren't going to believe me so I guess there's not much for me to do other than rethink venting here in the future.

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

[(Anonymous)]

She did clarify later that she meant she didn't know how I knew that other people my age didn't call their moms as much because you don't usually say out of nowhere how often you talk to your parents, and I probably wouldn't have had reason to ask them

Oh how nice of her to clarify. Did she apologize for the cheap shot? (An actual apology, not one involving "if" or "but" or a deflection of her actions or a redirection of the blame towards you)