fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3444 ]

[ SECRET POST #3444 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3444 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Rape isn't sex."

I don't know why some groups are so desperately trying to attach a positive-default to the word sex. It's just an act, not positive or negative. I get how it could potentially be comforting to some victims to divide sexual experiences and rape, but rape is nonconsensual sex by definition.

I wish I could hate you to death.

Rape is about power, domination and abuse. Sex is about the opposite of that.

lmao

No one is going to take you seriously when your kneejerk reactions to someone saying something you don't like are to somehow wish death on them.

I'm imagining you overhearing someone say something you disagree with, walking up to them and saying "I wish I could hate you to death" lol

???

just throwing the troll a bone here, because it brings up another kind of baffling well-intentioned social movement. Are we saying no one ever rapes simply because they are horny? Not all rapists are trying to assert domination over a hapless victim or demonstrate their power. some are literally just horny. and considering a lot of rapists refuse to believe what they did was rape - say, if a victim is unconscious or so drunk they can't consent but seem to be into it - I find this claim to be a bit melodramatic. sometimes rape is just about getting off, and that doesn't make it any less reprehensible.

It still takes a special kind of moral bankruptcy to go ahead and act it out on someone who is passed-out drunk or unresponsive. People get horny all the time, but they don't usually rape someone because of it.

Well yeah. The argument isn't that rape isn't an act of moral bankruptcy, that's a no brainer. But the fact that most horny people don't rape is hardly a counterargument.

This, and pushing a one-size-fits-all perspective of what rape means for the victim. Saying that rape is always the worst, most painful, most emotionally devastating thing that can happen to someone is their way of getting it to be taken more seriously. But it isn't true, and it gives the message that people who weren't traumatized by their rape weren't really raped or have something wrong with them because they're not reacting to it like a normal person.

I've been having this argument on Facebook today. It's frustrating. People (people who are much older than me and should know better!) who are not rape victims, only that they "talk to people", telling me that rape is a fate worse than death.

I honestly hate the "worse than death" thing cause like, it implies that being raped is something you can absolutely never recover from, can never heal from, can never deal with. And that is not the message I think most traumatized people need.

I've talked about it on here a couple of times before, but it bears repeating: I was raped, and while it was awful at the time, I healed and moved on-- apparently too quickly for most people. I had people getting angry that I was okay, insisting that I was utterly broken and "stuffing it down" and all of that. It was that reaction that traumatized me, and it's something I'm still working through in therapy.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you for being one of the few voices of reason that understands that it isn't always a life-ending thing, and in no case should you ever treat a survivor as though it's ruined them.

It's so ironic you were given shit for having a better-than-expected experience.

I'm sorry that happened.

Yes, that is a really good point too.

It's a terrible thing to do and that should not be minimized. But you can avoid minimizing something while still emphasizing that recovery is possible.

I mean it would be like saying "it's nbd if you get cancer" versus saying "you will DEFINITELY DIE if you get cancer"; the truth is different from either of those things. Everyone wants to avoid cancer (and if cancer were a thing people could do to each other, it would be a terrible crime). Emphasizing recovery is still really important.

It's an effort to try and dismantle the idea that rape is just another form of sex and therefore that big a deal. And to try and emphasise that it's an act of violence.

I mean, I don't entirely disagree with you, but that's the purpose of that movement.

I'd prefer instead to dismantle the idea that sex is such an inherently positive thing that violence can't be a part of it.

Which is why it's a well-intentioned social movement I disagree with. As the other anon said, I'd rather be clear that "sex" is just a physical act that is neither positive nor negative. I hate emotionally-driven definitions. Rape IS forced sex. Rape is also a terrible act of violence. It can be both.

AYRT I agree. It's not the names that need dismantling, it's the attitude. Calling it something different won't change the people who think rape isn't that big a deal.

*NOT that big a deal

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3444 ]

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