fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3444 ]

[ SECRET POST #3444 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3444 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #492.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Stop yelling at them when they get annoyed at you talking about your male partners in the forums!"

If it's in a strictly lesbian forum, yes.

But if you're on a general LGBT forum, and you bitch because a bi person is talking about their opposite sex partner, you're an idiot. LGBT- Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual, Transgender. And the whole point of bisexuality is that you feel attracted to people of both sexes.

I think it's pretty clear from the rest of what she said that she means lesbian forums.

It's pretty clear you don't know what LG"B""T" forums are actually like. Or the rest of the community.

I shouldn't respond to this but I'm actually a little hurt, so if that was your goal, congrats I guess.

ugh.

I'm sorry. People get shitty about this stuff.

I'm not talking about bitching for mentioning stuff like that in passing, but I've seen "wlw" discussion where it turns into all about how awesome their male partners are and can you see why that would annoy somebody?

The whole point of bisexuality is that you feel attracted to people of both sexes, exactly. Except that I never felt scared holding a guy's hand in public and frankly I still get a little stressed out someone will do something when I hold a girl's. I was just as bi in both situations, but there's a hierarchy of needs here.

Edited 2016-06-08 23:26 (UTC)

I was just as bi in both situations, but there's a hierarchy of needs here.

This is a good point and something that's frustrated me in conversations with other bisexual people.

The fact that I'm in a relationship with a man, and that when I go out with him I'm assumed to be straight, does in fact afford me a certain degree of privilege. It doesn't mean that I'm privileged in all respects or in all contexts, but in that specific situation, I absolutely have a social advantage, as a bi woman, over a lesbian woman.

There seems to be a lack of willingness to acknowledge that and to grasp that there is actually some nuance to this stuff.

Nine times out of ten, the "straight passing privilege" advocate will go on to deny the realities of mental health problems and intimate partner violence faced by bisexual people. It's not a healthy environment for a nuanced discussion of what actually happens in the closet right now.

(Often this reminds me so much of college smokers, "Yeah, I've been smoking since high school and haven't caught a cold. Maybe those warnings are overblown.")

That's definitely a problem, and the inability of many LG people who speak of "straight passing privilege" to recognize that having to hide a part of one's identity in order to pass is itself a lack of privilege is a problem, as well. I think you touch upon the opposite side of the nuance-lacking coin.

I don't think the solution is to deny the nuance, however. I'd like to be able to talk about things like mental health problems, and partner violence, and suicide rates while also acknowledging that straight passing is a thing.

For example, last week I saw, "I date bi men and I don't think bi men significantly affected by biphobia." (Or words to that effect.) Wonderful for them. I'm spending almost $100 a month (with insurance) wrestling with issues as a rape and abuse survivor where my bisexuality is absolutely a factor. But hey, biphobia doesn't really exit because it's just homophobia, misogyny, and intra-community conflict! Theory trumps reality!

The fact that I'm in a relationship with a man, and that when I go out with him I'm assumed to be straight, does in fact afford me a certain degree of privilege.

I've never understood this argument. If you go out with a person of the same sex, people often just assume you're friends or roommates, not necessarily that you're gay lovers. In that way you could say everyone has straight passing privilege, until they do or say something that is marked by society as exclusively homo/bi/pan.

Edited 2016-06-09 02:09 (UTC)

Well, to be clear, doing the thing that's "marked" is what I'm talking about. I can hold hands with my husband; he can put his arm around me; we can kiss. None of these activities is remarked upon in the way they would be if I were doing the same with a woman.

Must be a cultural difference. I can't remember the last time I saw someone do a clearly non-platonic PDA (middle school maybe). I think even a straight couple kissing in public would get glares here.

Where are you from?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3444 ]

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"

Re: "Bisexual Erasure"