fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3455 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3455 ⌋

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Notes:

Early because places to go!

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Personality tends to override everything else though for me.

This is the sort of thing that many people seem to say, and I have a really hard time believing it. Because it just seems like personality is what matters most when it comes along with a body that one is attracted to, but the body has to be there to start. It seems like the body is, like, the base level, where it's not the most prominent aspect but it is the foundation for everything else.

(I want to be clear here that I'm not directing this against you specifically, and I'm not saying people are lying or anything like that. It's just something that I think about a lot, that maybe doesn't quite make sense to me, or that I personally have trouble with, and what you said happened to make me think of it.)

Well I can't speak for everyone else who apparently says this but it's been my experience.

da

I always figured I was asexual, and now I'm not sure what I am, but I ended up with a dude. A lot of his friends have remarked that I'm way out of his league, but not being attracted to bodies on the whole, I guess it makes sense that I'd go for someone because of their personality.

That said...from the discussions I've had with my friends, a lot of them admit it usually takes a minimum physical baseline before they'll pay attention to personality. That baseline isn't super high for most of them--it requires not being unattractive more so than being attractive in a particular way--but it's there. Who knows?

DA

That baseline isn't super high for most of them--it requires not being unattractive more so than being attractive in a particular way--but it's there. Who knows?

Yes, this. Like, if I meet a guy who looks like my father (total DNW for me) or whom I find truly UNattractive, then sure, that's going to be a dealbreaker. But there are plenty of people I don't initially find attractive in a particular way, but who become more appealing to me as I get to know their personality.

Well, what happened with me is I met the last guy I fell in love with because he was the best friend of the guy I was dating at the time. (Oops.)

He wasn't my physical type at all. He had a medium build, medium brown hair, blue-grey eyes, glasses, hairy below the neck (and I mean grizzly bear). Short fingers, not pretty hands in general

I go for guys/girls who are either slender or have a bit of padding. I adore "musician" hands.

BUT! Said guy had a great sense of humor that meshed with mine really well (something that was lacking in my then-boyfriend). I didn't cheat. We didn't hook up until years after breaking up with my then-boyfriend. Things didn't work out because we had different life goals, but I ultimately don't regret taking a chance on him.

I know this is long-winded, but maybe it'll help you make sense of how personality can trump physicality?

[ SECRET POST #3455 ]

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