[ SECRET POST #3457 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3457 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #494.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. http://i.imgur.com/GbUl6xw.png

[(Anonymous)]

FWIW, I feel the same way when 40-something characters have kids.

[(Anonymous)]

uuuuuuuh
my mom had her first kid when she was 40
If she dies around the same time other members of her family have died, I'll be at least older than 40 when she's gone.

[(Anonymous)]

Same - though I also get a little judgey because once a woman passes 40 the odds of complications and birth defects go /way/ up. I know it's absolutely none of my business, but... really!

[(Anonymous)]

My mother was 40 when she had me and 41 when she had my younger sister. We both turned out fine.

[(Anonymous)]

You were fine. A lot of kids are fine, but statistically your odds are also a lot higher that your kids will NOT be fine the older you get.

Though I really only get side-eye... ey, when I see parents in the news who are having a baby at 60+. Like way to have good odds you won't live to see your kid's high school graduation.

[ariakas]

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/249961.php

[(Anonymous)]

It's not always something that happems on purpose.

[(Anonymous)]

My mother had my brother at 36 and me at age 40, both accidental, and we turned out perfectly fine. It's not always done intentionally.

Also, when you "side-eye" like that, bear in mind that you're also inadvertently insulting the children of these 40 and older moms and implying there's something wrong with them.

[kallanda_lee]

Well, I think that's different, though, even in real life.

I mean, realistically, kids are SUPPOSED to outlive their parents. But you're sort of supposed to grow old with partner (in the romantic ideal).

And I say that as someone who will likely lose my parents way before my liking.

[sparrow_lately]

Those aren't really comparable tho? A spouse is a life partner; a child is not.

[kaijinscendre]

OMG. I feel that way too. I may have actually made a secret about that? Or just thought about making a secret. My big thing is immortal character (or way longer lived) getting together with mortal ones. It bothers me so much that one will die and leave the other one alone. :(

[(Anonymous)]

See I really like this trope because I love the idea that they will probably cherish the time they have together more than a pairing that thinks they have forever together.

The idea of a season of love together is really... attractive to me. And yeah the immortal one is going to miss them when they're gone but that doesn't mean the love they had wasn't worth it.

[kallanda_lee]

I feel similarly (also in the non-romanticized version, one will probably get dementia/deteriorate while the other is still fine).

[(Anonymous)]

this is what sounds awful to me, say your the young one, you'll still be up and moving around and healthy while they are old, going senile, or having massive health issues. that just sounds sad.
but then i also think if i got sick or bedridden i think my spouse would stick with me, and i'd stick with them. but it just seems extra sad. you KNOW for sure it'll happen if you end up with someone with a huge age gap.

[(Anonymous)]

You can be the same age as your partner and one of you can get sick or incapacitated. It sucks. That's life. An age gapped partnership could have the older partner succumb to age related issues, but the younger one is just as likely to get cancer or drop from a heart attack or be killed in a tragic accident.

[kallanda_lee]

Yeah, exactly. The younger partner is basically doomed to that.

[(Anonymous)]

I've had family live into their nineties and be in better shape than other family members in their 40s--on the one end, my mom's brother died at 47 and her mother (who I never met) died at 53, my dad at 60, one of his brothers at 63--but their father lived to be 92 and their mother lived to be 86, and my mom's maternal grandmother lived to be 96. That's not counting all the elderly people I know who aren't related to me and are still active into their 80s and 90s. And, unfortunately, it's not counting all the people I know who died young.

I'm not a fan of media where the star-crossed part is that one or both characters are terminally ill or become so in the course of the story, though, and I don't think I could start shipping something where one character is in their 60s and the other in their 90s at the beginning of the story, because barring magic/immortality, there's only one way that could end. Unless they were revealed to be tortoises or something, in which case they might get another century to be together.

[(Anonymous)]

No, you don't know for sure. I've known several people over 100 who needed hardly any support

[elaminator]

I have considered that, and I've even seen it brought up (in a serious way) in fic before, and as long as it's well written I don't typically mind it...

But sometimes I just like to read fic and not think about the depressing possibilities, so I'm also okay with people mentioning it briefly, then deciding they don't want to make a massive plot-point with it.

Age gaps don't stop me from shipping something; if I'm intrigued by it, I'm going to ship it regardless, but I understand your hesitation and despair. lol.

[(Anonymous)]

I ship a lot of pairings with big age differences and I kind of feel the same way, which is why I'm in complete denial about this fact and just try not to think about it. Everyone is immortal, nobody ever dies, lalalala.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that's why I tend to ship human/non-human ships so much, with added "human's life can be expanded to match the non-human's somehow".

I love age gaps with all my heart, but my brain purposely skitters away from one dying way before the other.

[nightscale]

I'm into age-gaps but I totally understand what you mean, I guess I just don't really think about that part of it and they live in my head as ageless immortal beings, lol.

But you're right that it would eventually be very sad.

[(Anonymous)]

The way I see it, we never know what's going to happen so if we care about each other, we should just enjoy whatever time we have together while we can. When someone's gone, we'll remember the good times we had and that'll have to be enough.

I'm only in my late 20's and have already lost several people, a few of them my age. I don't have any expectations about growing old together.

But in fiction, the older character might have a better chance of survival.

[(Anonymous)]

Just thinking about all of the characters that have been killed off on the shows I've watched and many of them have been (relatively) young.