[ SECRET POST #3460 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3460 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Lucifer]


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03.
[The Librarians]


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04.
[American Psycho]


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05.


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06.


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07.


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08.


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09.
[Gargoyles]


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10.


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11.
[mcu and x-men movieverse]


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12.


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13.


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14.
[Chicago Med]


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15. [SPOILERS for Sei Sou Tsui Dan Sha]
[WARNING for discussion of rape/incest]



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16. [WARNING for discussion of rape]



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17. [WARNING for discussion of rape]

[Gahkthun of the Golden Lightning]


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18. [WARNING for non-con]

[Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir]


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19. http://i.imgur.com/5u17vcb.jpg
[Watchmen, OP wanted a warning for sex/nudity, movie sex scene]


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20. [WARNING for discussion of rape]



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21. [WARNING for discussion of rape]

[The Mighty Boosh]






















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #494.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. http://i.imgur.com/RXDPaVO.png
[American Psycho]

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I watched this movie on a whim, and I wasn't prepared for how it would fuck with me
His speeches on how there is no real him put something I have been feeling into sharp, clear words for the first time ever
"There is an idea of Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory."
And it struck me that this is the only time I have seen media that puts my feelings of depersonalization into words and its from the mouth of a literal serial killer, someone symbolic of everything wrong with society.

[(Anonymous)]

Congratulations, you're evil. Was it everything you ever wanted?

[bio_obscura]

lol

[(Anonymous)]

Well, OP, I think the success of his characterization - and the book and film in general - is due to the fact that many people can see a bit of themselves in Patrick Bateman. Many of us feel like our lives have made us robotic.

[blitzwing]

"There wasn’t a clear, identifiable emotion within me, except for greed and, possibly, total disgust. I had all the characteristics of a human being–flesh, blood, skin, hair - but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that the normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblence of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning."

I always liked that one. Dunno if it made it into the movie or not.

[(Anonymous)]

A shortened version of it does, if I'm remembering correctly.

[kallanda_lee]

Tbh, I think a large part of it (and his pathology) is also the *pointlessness* of modern existence and depersonalization, and I'm convinced that's supposed to stand out. As long as you don't actually butcher people, you're good.

[herpymcderp]

That's nothing to be ashamed of, OP. Depersonalization/derealisation are much more common than most people seem to realize, and it's not a condition that's often associated with anything scary in real life.

Unfortunately, it gets the same bad rep as almost any other mental illness when it comes to media. I'm honestly struggling to even think of another example of it in popular culture... this is a phenomenon few people are aware of and fewer even think of writing about.

I'm also sorry you're experiencing this, whether it's due to medication or PTSD or some other complication. I do know firsthand what it feels like, and it's not a pleasant sensation.

[feotakahari]

Would you say Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion suffers from it?

[herpymcderp]

Having not watched much of Eva, I wouldn't be able to say if that's what the creators were going for.

[bio_obscura]

It's been a while since I've seen NGE, but isn't she essentially treated like a machine/non-person, which causes her to behave like one?

[(Anonymous)]

yeah I was going to say, i don't think its just horrible murderers who feel this way.

i remember growing up how often i felt like a "camera head". at least thats what i called it. like i was watching people, recording things, but i wasn't a person, just thing that watched.

it happened whenever home life was very bad and i got really stressed out, i'd just sorta switch to
empty.

[herpymcderp]

As a short term illness it's fairly common, just infrequently talked about. It can be the result of poor sleep/insomnia, overdose, certain medical conditions not related to mental illness, trauma... there's quite a long list.

It can also occur at any age, so I'm not surprised you would experience it as a child. I hope it has abated for you somewhat now, though.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I am fairly certain I have some untreated mental illness (my depersonalization is pretty chronic and far from my only symptom) but idk what it is (and I suppose ptsd is a possibility? I don't know.)

And yeah, I don't think Bateman is really Ellis' attempt at an accurate portrayal of mental illness (I read him as a metaphor for the destructive and vapid nature of 1980s consumerism myself) but those parts still hit weirdly close to home, and adds to the kind of fear I have of ever telling anyone about it. I don't want to be a bad person and I don't want anyone to think I am a bad person. Idk.

Re: OP

[herpymcderp]

Well, you don't need to trust me about much else, but no professional psychiatrist is going to think you're a bad person just because you suffer from depersonalization. It doesn't ultimately mean anything about the content of your character, it just means you have a malfunction happening (possibly in your parietal lobe).

Truly, it doesn't mean you're going to turn into a bad person.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

You're not a bad person because of depersonalization and it won't turn you into a bad person, OP. As someone who has suffered from depersonalization since teenage years, yeah, it's scary as hell to talk about it to other people, but it's not as uncommon as you might think. In my case, it is related to a mental illness, and I was afraid of how frequently it happened, but talking with my therapist has helped me cope with it. At least for me, it got easier to deal with it once I stopped being so afraid of it happening. (Nowadays, it's just a "oh, this again, time to refocus" type of thing.) Hope you'll feel better, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

There is a school of psychological horror which takes something common and slightly worrying, then combines it with something completely horrific, just to freak out the reader. We identify with one thing while being completely squicked by the other, but then identify them with each other and with ourselves, and then we fear both things more.

I've never read American Psycho, but Harlan Ellison used to use the technique in his horror stories.

It helps to unpack it and realize that this is a writer mashing together two entirely different things.

[bio_obscura]

I haven't seen the movie or read the book, but I don't think this is a "disassociative psychopath" thing. You could probably find a lot of books on philosophy and existentialism that discuss this. I read Waking Up by Sam Harris last year and I remember a section about how there is no such thing as "I."

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't seen the movie, but that quote resounds with many people, myself included. I feel like that sometimes, and i know people who feel that way sometimes. None of us are psychos. We're just trying figure out who we are...and sometimes it feels like i'm not really here. A caricuture of myself/who i think i am.