case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-06-28 06:30 pm

[ SECRET POST #3464 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #495.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

(Anonymous) 2016-06-29 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
This is going to sound weird, but... setting a specific, manageable goal with a specific, achievable deadline, and making a list of all the steps you need to do to meet that goal by that deadline.

I had a full-blown panic attack in group therapy a couple years ago when we were being asked to do that, and since then I react really badly to suggestions of engaging with that model. As in, need to be by myself for a couple minutes and take some slow, deep breaths, remind myself that I don't really have to do it, nobody is trying to harm me, it is a very useful technique that works very well for most people, and if someone suggested it they undoubtedly did so with the very best of intentions.

The reason is that I've known about that technique for twenty years, it's always described as working every time, and my failure rate with it is 100%. Thus, I'm apparently some special kind of failure freak who's capable of failing at things that work for literally everyone else. So when it came up in therapy, I panicked, because I was at the bottom of the very deepest depression I've yet had, and it felt like I was being asked to put my recovery, meaning my actual physical survival, on the line with a technique that, in my experience, guarantees failure. It really, really felt like they were telling me that I was going to die of suicide because I'm such a fuckup I can't do the simple thing that works for everyone else. So yeah, I try to steer around that ever since.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

(Anonymous) 2016-06-29 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
"...setting a specific, manageable goal with a specific, achievable deadline, and making a list of all the steps you need to do to meet that goal by that deadline."

That sort of thing tends to make me feel a bit panicky too.

Something about... there's going to be something that looks reasonable on paper but when I try it's going to be fiendishly difficult or fail in an unexpected way or make me vulnerable, or I'm simply unable to concentrate enough to get to the end of the list - like I'm setting myself up for failure and everybody else makes it look so fucking easy.

I've got to the point, when I'm working on a project, that a list I add to and cross off as I go can be helpful, though.