[ SECRET POST #3464 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #495.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

And if you're comfortable saying, what are they and why did they come about for you?

(Obviously, I'm talking about real triggers, not squicks.)

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[kallanda_lee]

See, I'm still fuzzy on the whole trigger thing? Like, I have things that make me uncomfortable but not all 100-yard-stare or sobbing flashback mode.

There's a type of flower that has a smell that got blended in with the memory of the news of my grandfather having had a heart attack. So I cannot smell the flower without feeling like i'm physically in the place where I got the news (a tiny hotel phone stall in Italy).

Things regarding cancer can be, but it depends on how it's described. Same for suicide.

Also things involving treasure objects/childhood memento's being destroed.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[sparrow_lately]

I do. I've found them by accident. They're weird and idk if they count as triggers.

Gross talk about burns

[kaijinscendre]

Yes. I can't look at pictures of burns without going into a mild panic attack. I've never had a full blown one because that is a pretty easy thing to avoid. I even get anxious thinking about the event that caused this.

It started after my neighbor (catty corner) blew up his house in a suicide attempt. They were able to get him out and they dragged him over to the neighbor right beside me. I was about 5 feet away from him on the phone with 911. He was severely burnt all over. I thought someone had put like wet paper towels on his legs and such but then I realized that was his skin like...sloughing and bubbling off.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[philstar22]

Bullying can be a trigger for me. But I never know when I'll be triggered by it. The one thing that always triggers me is when bullies are forgiven without any acknowledgement of what they did and they suddenly become friends with their victim or are given an excuse that makes what they did supposedly okay.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[herpymcderp]

Nope. I don't have many squicks either (although people calling their lovers "daddy" happens to be a mild squick so I chose a real bad time to be a bisexual man).

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Being touched on the neck.

I've never been triggered by anything in fic or in media.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Rape used to be one. Full flashbacks, throwing up, screaming, and panic attacks. Now I've dealt with what happened to me better and had treatment, I still find it upsetting and try to avoid media with it in but it doesn't trigger me.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes hearing/reading particular phrases and thinking about them too much brings me back to shitty parts of my life where I heard the same phrases used. Not even anything particularly damaging on their own; just specific turns of phrase that you wouldn't hear used every day that I guess I've come to associate with certain situations. Basically kills my interest in whatever I'm currently doing or watching and leaves me emotionally wrecked for the next few hours or day if I get to that point of thinking about them too hard.

It's not something I can just avoid because it's been different phrases linked to different past situations pretty much every time it's happened, so I've never asked for a "trigger warning" or anything because it seems whether I react or not depends more on my current mood than the use of the words themselves (can see/hear them used sometimes without even thinking about it). Luckily it really hasn't happened to me much.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

A very mild one in comparison to the really intense triggers people with actual PTSD struggle with but kind of?
It's the smell of raw egg yolks. I got bullied pretty severely in middle school and one of the worst events was when some much older teenagers (complete strangers from an entirely different school who just randomly chose me as their victim of that year while waiting at the bus stop) decided they wanted to beat me up and, for some reason, throw eggs at me. I had to get home by bus afterwards - it was a long drive, packed with other students and it was summer - the smell of raw eggs still gives me this massive surge of helplessness and humiliation even over 15 years later.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[morieris]

Probably. I do get really uncomfortable around 60s - 70s decor for some reason, but I wouldn't call it triggering.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[sarillia]

If I'm not expecting it the sound of a door being unlocked can send me into a panic because of bad experiences.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[soldatsasha]

Not... specific ones. Not in the way people usually mean. My PTSD and panic+anxiety attacks and obsessive thoughts are triggered more by specific trains of thought and specific emotions than external stimuli, I guess?

Like, I can read all the horrific rape fic I want, or watch a video of gangbang porn, or read people's accounts of it, and that in itself won't bother me. It lacks the emotional resonance that I was feeling at the time of the trauma. But infidelity, especially between people or characters I care about, will set me right off because I empathize too much with the person who was betrayed.

I also have to be careful with character deaths in fiction. If I see or read about a character dying, it sometimes flips over in my head to where I'll feel like that character is dying for real. Like they'll be gone forever, just erased from existence, like they were never created at all. I guess this is because of the abandonment portion of my traumatic experiences?

There's other more straight forward ones, but they don't affect me as much. Loud noises like fireworks or thunder, if I'm not expecting it. Extreme heat like from a fire or oven. People looming.

ETA: the nonny below reminded me. Sleep deprivation as a means of manipulation, and tampering with medications. especially tampering with them as a means of fucking with someone's head. NOPE

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Extreme verbal abuse, especially from military authority figures, and certain types of psychological abuse. (Its hard to specify cause I am not always clear myself, but stuff like food or sleep deprivation to manipulate people.)

Basically my dad was an ex Seal and very abusive.

Also idk if its a "trigger" but angry yelling and stuff tends to make me kinda shut down

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[feotakahari]

Certain kinds of touch, especially if I'm being grabbed or restrained. I've gradually gotten more used to it over the years, but every doctor I've ever had has given up trying to perform physical exams on me.

I'm fairly certain my last psychiatrist thought I was lying about this because I was okay with shaking his hand. I don't think I succeeded in conveying to him that there are different kinds of touch.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

being grabbed from behind. DO NOT DO THIS TO ME. EVEN AS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

figures with no face.
calling anybody a monster.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

I have/had anorexia and I will get triggered by really skinny actresses.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[elaminator]

I can't think of anything. Doesn't mean there isn't something, but nothing jumps out.

Mind, there are plenty of things that disturb me, disgust me or make me incredibly anxious and/or upset, but I don't know if I would use the term trigger.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[lady_dragoon]

If it's not a necessity like work or school, leaving the house is enough to make me panicky and tense until I get home because I had a parent who would not let me set foot outside the front door unless I could justify the trip. And the few times I was allowed, there would always be a screaming match about how I left her alone all day when I got home. Even living on my own, I'm loathe to go out unless I absolutely have to.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Anything to do with the fandom I shared with an abusive friend a couple years ago. I've only just gotten to the point that I can listen to the soundtrack again without wanting to throw up. But I don't think I'll ever be able to re-watch it or participate in the fandom without a full-blown freakout.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, there's a mild one I have that's pretty common yet not something that would affect me online since it's physical in nature. The details can be triggery themselves so stop reading if this bothers you.

The sensation of swallowing large pills reminds me of my second suicide attempt, the one that came closest to success. My response ranges anywhere from, "Huh, this is familiar," to having to sit down and stare into space for a minute before going on with my day. Like I said, mild.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

The sound of the gate that backs on to the alley behind my house being opened--my reaction got less intense after my dad died because I knew he couldn't come through the gate anymore, so if I woke up panicking because I heard it all i had to do was remind myself he was dead. Now that mom sneaks out to buy booze that way, I associate the noise with finding her bleeding/pissing herself on the floor and the subsequent trips to the hospital. I think if/when she dies, I'll hang a lot of bells on the gate or something, to change the noise, or every time I have a visitor they'll find me having a mini panic attack.

Re: Do you have any triggers?

[(Anonymous)]

Choking is the big one. My abuser controlled me by holding me down with an arm across my throat, cutting off my air.

(So yeah, driving by the freaking X-Men billboard every day has been less than fun.)

Actually, recognizing that this is a trigger has been helpful. It's easier to talk myself down when I can tell myself "okay, you are reacting to a thing you saw on tv/in a movie/wherever" as opposed to not knowing what is going on.

Re: Do you have any triggers? (Mention of sexual assault and pedophillia)

[(Anonymous)]

Two or three years back my friend did a presentation on molestation on buses, she and everyone else was gigling like immature brats while I almost had a panic attack. I was molested by a close family friend when I was a kid, so were my sisters. It ended in a very ugly fight that I apparently still haven't gotten over, everytime I think about it I get angry and want to cry. I was so close to yelling at her but I ended up just saying they shouldn't laugh at something like that and the teacher backed me up. I'm still casual friends with her but that situation reminds me why I have anxiety and horrible trust issues.