fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3468 ]

[ SECRET POST #3468 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3468 ⌋

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Yes, it is devaluing rape. It is nothing like rape. Unless those people are raping their kids to make them go to sleep.

Rape is non-consensual sex.

Also, kids actually need structure. I wouldn't make them sit on a toilet for hours, but making a child go and sit on a toilet on schedule is a good way to teach potty training.

You shouldn't force a kid to eat if they are crying, but sometimes you have to make kids eat stuff they don't want to. If not, some kids would live off of mac and cheese and skittles.

And it is perfectly fine to put a child to bed when they are not tired. If not, your child may stay up until 2 in the morning on a school night.

~You shouldn't force a kid to eat if they are crying, but sometimes you have to make kids eat stuff they don't want to. If not, some kids would live off of mac and cheese and skittles.

I spent several months as a toddler eating nothing but chicken soup for every meal but breakfast. I grew out of it. I probably would have made a bigger deal out of it if I'd been forced to eat something else, instead of just tiring of chicken soup and moving on on my own.

Yeah, but I have known kids who never grew out of it? I had a friend whose parent let them eat nothing but chicken nuggets/strips and pizza for YEARS.

How'd the kids turn out?

Fat. They turned out very fat.

Actually not fat surprisingly but the food thing was kinda indicative of greater issues with their parents never having real control or ability to discipline them so like... Yeah.

Poorly tbh.

AUGH. Does anybody know how to make the "delete" key not act as a back button? I had a whole comment almost completely written out and then accidentally hit it a;lfkj;alskdj

anyway: I agree. I have a cousin who will only eat like four things, and he's not super healthy is very closed-minded about food. He's a teenager now, but as a kid, my aunt (who, don't get me wrong, is an awesome woman and generally a really good mom and I love her, but I think this is a blind spot of hers) never made him try anything. His older sister is also very overweight, even moreso than him, though I don't think she's now quite as closed-minded about food as he is (might have to do with their overall personality differences). I feel bad for him because his palate is so limited and I feel like he's missing out on a lot, plus he's not terribly courteous when it comes to eating food he's served when he's a guest.

My mom always made us try a "courtesy bite", and if we wanted second helpings or dessert, then we had to eat a reasonable (not enormous) serving of all the foot items she made (usually the issues was on the veggie sides, and honestly, requiring your kids to eat some veggies before serving them ice cream is 110% reasonable IMO). As a result I have a better approach to a balanced diet and a much wider palate and am not afraid to try new things.

Edited 2016-07-02 23:28 (UTC)

I agree with this! It's how I developed a healthier relationship with food--my mom and grandparents got me to try everything--and I ended up finding things I liked or loved that way! This coming from someone who as a kid ONLY EVER WANTED SPAGHETTI.

My parents had a similar philosophy to yours. We always had to try a bite of something new to see, and if we wanted dessert, in a varied meal we had to eat at least three different types of food from what was on the table.

For kids, it's actually very important to expand their palate and teach them how to experience new foods.
I once dated a guy who was a really picky eater, and it was pretty frustrating for me.

Man I used to think people who talked about picky eating being a dealbreaker were being kind of uptight, but after my last bf I completely see what they mean. :( I mean there are a few things I don't like (mostly having to do with dairy bc I don't like the taste of milkfat) but a whole lot of things I do like and I'm willing to try new stuff as well.

My ex-bf wouldn't eat TOMATOES. Like how the hell do you dislike tomatoes??? What made it even more annoying is that he'd eat pizza, yes? But not other things. It was pretty ridiculous.

In terms of a dealbreaker, I think it depends *how* picky, because there are levels... I mean when I think of foods I dislike, the list is honestly pretty short. I like most fruits and vegetables, though I can't eat a lot of mango for some reason. Even avocadoes, which I disliked dramatically for 5 or so years, I've come around to.

Oh man mangoes are my favorite fruit *__* which is saying something because I like literally every fruit that exists except cantaloupe.

I actually know a few people who don't like raw tomatoes, and that doesn't bother me even though I think they have horrible taste because tomatoes are amazing. I mean, I don't really like stuff that tastes like cream (alfredo sauce for example) or most cheeses. Having a food or category of foods that you don't like is very different to me from only having a few foods or categories of food that you do like.

Edited 2016-07-05 01:37 (UTC)

I guess for me it would depend on the prevalence of that category of food in the local diet. Where I live, tomatoes are pretty much a staple - they're in salads, sauces, and lots of dishes. And salads are also a major part of our diet here. I mean, clearly this guy was picky enough that it was an actual issue, as opposed to an anecdote like "oh I don't like mushrooms", which can be more easily avoided.
I guess to me not liking an entire category of food sounds pretty picky, too. Also, I think there's a difference between not really liking something, and going NOPE and refusing to eat it at all, ever. I'm more okay with the former than the latter, I think, because there's more wiggle room.

interesting

it's kinda hard not to take that a little bit personally. It's not like I chose to not like milkfat. :/

That said, it's not in every dish or even a majority of dishes where I live (neither are tomatoes for that matter) and if a sandwich comes with cheese it's really easy to ask them to just leave it off.

I have no problem finding a wide variety of things to eat.

Sorry! I honestly didn't mean it personally. The truth is, I don't think it matters very much, food pickiness, except for when you're dating someone, when their pickiness might actually influence your life. My friends can be as picky as they want.
And you're right that cream bases or cheese probably aren't nearly so prevalent as to be a serious issue. I was more thinking about the "category" vs. "specific food item" thing, and made a tactless statement without thinking about it. I apologize. I do respect and appreciate you a lot.

(also I happen to really like cheese, and because I was raised vegetarian, we eat a lot of it. Also there's no cheese I can eat in Korea and I want some :((((( so I apologize again!)

It's okay! I was thinking of "dairy" as a broad category even though I don't dislike everything within it. A lot of people really like foods that taste creamy though and that's what I tend to avoid. I love pizza and ice cream and cereal with (skim) milk.

I'm sorry you don't have one of your favorite foods where you are :( but also I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE IN KOREA????? holy shit??? that's amazing, what are you there for and how do you like it etc.

^^^ that was me. I forgot to log in at work, sorry!

This is how my family was. I was never forced to finish something or clean my plate if I wasn't hungry, but I had to try two or three bites to see whether or not I actually liked it. As a result, I found hundreds of foods that I actually like, that I probably would never have eaten if my parents hadn't 'forced' me to try them. I also found lots that I don't like, which is equally useful ime.

Okay. But chicken soup is skittles and ice cream.

At least chicken soup has most the vitamins you need to grow up. Also, you are a different breakfast so. Yeah.

I agree with you that kids need a bit of pushing to eat healthy sometimes, it's simply a part of good parenting to know what to push and at what point pushing them to eat something they hate will simply not work.

I grew up having eaten most of what my mum served, and as I got older, I had the growing freedom to pick what I liked and what I didn't.

However if a child really hates something, they could end up doing what my mother did and refuse to eat beans three meals in a row, but I also think no modern parent would be a stubborn as my grandmother and serve the same pile of beans three meals in a row and only backing off when her mother said she should give up.

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[ SECRET POST #3468 ]

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