[ SECRET POST #3470 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3470 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: About relationships...

[chardmonster]

1. I joke around a lot.

This leads to problems sometimes when people think I'm criticizing them but I'm really just kidding. I grew up in a family where people do that.

2. I'm expecting a monogamous relationship (eventually anyway) and don't tolerate cheating.

Obvious reasons. I think a lot of people believe a certain measure of fucking around is by default understandable and don't realize that's not only hurtful but incredibly selfish. You aren't just being an asshole, you're potentially exposing me to STDs. I didn't consent to fuck every girl in your harem.

3. Arguing is fine!

People have this weird belief that you can't like someone and also disagree with them. Sometimes people (friends etc) think I'm angry when I'm just disagreeing. Trust me, I'm not angry about your Star Trek opinions.

4. Don't assume I'm your submissive.

A lot of guys seem to prefer women being... less than them. They want you to submit both physically and mentally, all the time. It's great if you're smart as long as they're always feeling smarter than you. And that sucks. There's nothing less attractive than someone who has to be the smartest person in the room. I don't know why so many women put up with that.

Re: About relationships...

[sarillia]

Completely agreed on #3. I was a little nervous about how much my ex and I agreed on everything at first and was relieved when we finally found some things we thought really differently about because then I knew that we both understood it was okay to do that.

Re: About relationships...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a bit of two minds about #1 there. Obviously joking around is great and awesome, but I also think sarcasm and humor can be done in a way that's more cutting and harsh. You gotta be careful with that shit.

Like, I also grew up in a family where people do that, but in retrospect, in our case, I think that was a channel for a lot of dysfunctional behaviors and not at all a healthy thing. Just because it's funny, or just because you grew up a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean it's healthy.

Re: About relationships...

[ketita]

A flip side of #4 for me is what I call the "dancing bear" situation. Guys who are just so interested in me, so fascinated by the things I do, that I feel like I'm performing. I want a guy who does cool stuff too, that we can do cool stuff together.
I know I've done a bunch of stuff that's not exactly usual. I'm not trying to impress anybody, least of all myself.
I just want a reciprocal relationship, is that too much to ask.

Re: About relationships...

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah both sides of that situation suck. I don't want to be on a pedestal, but I don't want to be at the base of your pedestal either FFS.