[ SECRET POST #3471 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3471 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]


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03.
[Brooklyn Nine-Nine]


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04.
[1931: Scheherazade at the Library of Pergamum]


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05.
[outlander, ontd-sassenach]


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06.
(Voltron: Legendary Defender)


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07.
[Michael Kamen]


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08.
[Captain America (MCU), Daredevil (MCU), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and Bleach]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

question

[(Anonymous)]

a couple months back my SO had a big fight with her family about something and now isn't speaking to most of them anymore, but never told me why. When I asked her if she wanted to talk about it after it happened, she said no. I asked her a couple more times over the next week, but she always said she didn't want to talk about it, so I let it drop. She mentions never seeing her grandmother again occasionally (though some of her other family seem to be back on speaking terms with her?), but never elaborates on the incident

Idk why it bothers me not knowing, but it does. I am really paranoid the fight was about me, or her sexuality (we're both women), but I really have no idea. Is there a way I can ask now, months out? Or should I just resign myself to never knowing?

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

Leave it alone.

LEAVE IT ALONE.

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

no need for the aggressive caps

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

Respect her boundaries.

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

You've already asked three times and been stonewalled. Why do you think 4 is the magic number? I totally get why this would bug you and why you'd want to know. I can even see an argument that as her partner, maybe you should be privy to family fights because it might affect you.

But none of that really matters if your SO doesn't want to talk about the fight SHE had with HER family. I'm using the caps for a reason, OP. You've asked if she wanted to discuss it, she told you no. That's your answer.

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't quite use the words "resign myself to never knowing" because quite frankly, this isn't about you. It's about her. Yeah, it's possible the subject of the fight might have involved you in some way, but it doesn't matter. You should just let it drop, and leave it. If or when she wants to share the reason with you, then she will, but on her terms, in her own time. Yes, you will have to accept the possibility that this may never happen. In the meantime, just... be supportive of her. Being estranged from family sucks balls, since it's a decision to not be taken lightly. Even if one's reasons are completely justified, it can be difficult.

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, this. Listen to this.

Re: question

[(Anonymous)]

If she wants you to know she will tell you. Until then, let it be.

Re: question

[ypsilon42]

Talk to her. Srsly.

Everyone here seems to tell you to let it go, but I think you should bring it up if it bothers you. From what it sounds like, you haven't asked about it in the last couple of month and she might feel comfortable talking to you now.

The important thing is, when you talk to her be honest, but don't put pressure on her. Tell her that you will respect it, if she still doesn't want to talk about it, but that you have been worrying and thinking it might have been about you. Tell her also, that you want to support her, but if she feels you do that best by not talking about it, respect that.

Maybe she has changed her mind and will want to talk to you. Maybe she still doesn't want to talk. If it's not about her sexuality, she will probably tell you that it's about something else, even if she won't tell you the details and you can at least stop worrying about that.

It's her decision wether she wants to talk about it or not and you should not pressure her. But if this situation worries you or makes you feel unsure, you should be able to express that too.