Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2008-04-01 05:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2008-04-01 05:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #452 ]
⌈ Secret Post #452 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 10 pages, 238 secrets from Secret Submission Post #065.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 - too big ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: I should probably have a more serious icon, but...
I'm afraid of RP and large fandom groups for the same reason, but I do have a pretty big f-list (for which I'm very grateful) and people I really like online, though I only IM a few of them because I hate to IM people first. But I'm afraid to go into large forums in some of my fandoms because I'm way not hard-core enough about the canon.
I actually tried the online dating/friendship OKCupid type thing, but I was all weird about it. I actually was afraid to talk to a guy who contacted me because I thought he was too good-looking and probably had misjudged the (admittedly very small) picture I had up.
The other problem is that I work the graveyard shift, four nights on and four off, and spend most of the four days on sleeping. So anything that occurs regularly on a day of the week, which is most things on earth, is something I might have to skip half the time. I do get out to work but I work alone most of the night. But that's probably mostly an excuse, since I do miss sleep to be on the net.
Re: I should probably have a more serious icon, but...
I tried online friendships, too- it worked out well twice and terribly twice, so- I guess I'm still half and half on it. The only reason I ever met any of these people is because of the roommate pushing them to come by. I dunno, I think it has the potential to go so badly- if the person's close then they're hard to dodge if you don't like them, and if they're far and they do turn out to be awesome, you'll never see them. But then, I'm being pessimistic, eh? >_>
Oh geez, yeah, your schedule definitely does not help. I think if I worked the graveyard shift anything, I'd enjoy it a lot better (I do seem to be nocturnal, or near it), but I'd never do ANYTHING then.
I don't know...from the sound of it, we're both sort of on the verge, but you DO have people you interact with online, and people you actually like online, which is a harder thing to find. That's more'n I do, of my own volition (I keep telling myself this sort of attitude will help when I really hunker down to write my book, but...uh, yeah, I'm gonna believe that when it happens). I have a couple people IRL to keep me 'grounded', so that works out, too. I personally don't think everyone is helped by going and 'being social'- some of us are severely introverted- and...well, we're still working members of society, still (mostly) taking care of ourselves, so I don't think there's any major shame in that. Sure, it'd be better if I wasn't so awkward meeting people, but after twenty-plus years of dealing with it, I don't think it's something I'm going to grow out of. And I hate trying to force myself to 'get friends', so.
Re: I should probably have a more serious icon, but...
But I do have close online friends, for which I'm very grateful, but I'd like face-to-face contact with someone besides the nurses at work. Most of my online friendships have gone pretty well, though people can disappear on you, but so can people in the real world. If I had roommates I might feel less alone. (But then I'd drive them nuts because I never sleep.)
I agree that forcing yourself to be social and make friends may not be the best thing. I had a therapist who kept telling me "No, you just have to get out there, and if you don't meet anyone you just have to get out there some more," and I felt like saying "When do I get to give up?"
I actually have my dad helping me a lot as far as "taking care of myself" but I mostly function I guess. But I don't think I'm going to become social all of a sudden either.