fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3503 ]

[ SECRET POST #3503 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3503 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

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[Overwatch]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 56 secrets from Secret Submission Post #500.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am bisexual. All of my family, work colleagues and partner are very very traditional and religious.

Once a week I get to rebel.

Posted this secret and then realised it had zero context.

As a bisexual from a traditional family, I would have much more sympathy for you if you hadn't felt the need to put down OUaT for being "girly" so of course you are special and couldn't possibly watch it. That attitude really annoys me, and it is so prevalent these days.

I spend my whole life being told to be girly. Fuck that.
PS you have issues.

I think their issue is more your dismissal of an show as being too girly, and therefore bad. I'm not even sure why you think OUAT is girly, other than the main character is a girl?

AYRT
Why am I the one with issues? You sound like you have way more issues than I do. I feel no need to bash others for liking something girly and making it sound like I am better than them for doing so. (For the record, I don't like OUaT, but I don't care if others do. And I certainly wouldn't bash a show solely for skewing more toward on gender than another.)

Believe me, I understand being forced to fit a role. We have pictures of me as a toddler at my second Christmas who had a pile of dolls taller than her because of being the first granddaughter, even though I have never given a shit about dolls. I was told as a child that of course I meant I wanted to be a nurse when I said I wanted to be a doctor, because "being a doctor is for boys". (My aunt said that gem.) But I have tried not to let that color my life. I like or dislike things because I like or dislike them on their merits. And I wish others would do that as well. I don't like it when others dismiss a show simply as too "girly" (especially without having watched any of it!) because that implies things for girls are lesser to and they are above that. It is a very prevalent view.

There isn't anything wrong with being girly, though. There's something wrong with being told to be girly, and that's an important and significant distinction to maintain. And it feels like in this secret you're talking in terms of the former rather than the latter.

That said, I'm sorry you're in that situation.

No. Fuck you.

Girly isn't bad. Their enforcing "girly" on you is bad but girly in and of itself isn't bad. Stop acting like you're edgy and badass because you eschew "girly." You're not. You're just trying to impose another kind of gender expectation onto girls.

You're just trying to impose another kind of gender expectation onto girls.

It really amazes me how, these days, every action, thought and deed in our lives is expected to be carried out in the spirit of pushing the boundaries of society.

I am one solitary person, sat alone at home, allowed one evening a week to be myself. I am not waving this flag all over my neighbourhood, going into schools and teaching it to kids. FS does not constitute a declaration of war on girliness.

No, I'm just me, sat at home by myself and one night to say FUCK YOU to the gender expectations pushed on me.

And, not that anyone has bothered to ask me, but if I have kids then I will take very great pleasure in allowing them to be whoever they want, even if I have daughters who cover every inch of my house in Disney princesses. As long as it makes them happy, it's a-okay with me.

In the long run, I don't think I can do anything more.

It's good that you give yourself this pause to adjust your headspace and it seems much needed too. But the inherent conflict in the words you chose for your secret leave your readers reeling and that's what you see in this thread.

What I mostly see in this thread is a bunch of people making viscious remarks based on their instantaneous judgemental assumptions. 'Dog piling' I think is the term.

As it happens, I do hate girly shows. I find them boring as fuck. That doesn't mean I hate girliness, think being girly is a bad thing, or would apply my own preferences to anybody else. All accusations that have been levelled at me in this frankly ridiculous thread.

Any disdain in my secret is aimed at my situation. This was not clear in the secret, hence why I added context. Yet you are still here, throwing around words as if the fate of our gender lies on your shoulders.

And you are lashing out in anger in return.

But you are also a grown up with responsibility to handle or change your own fate. I wish you all the best.

why are you even with someone who (presumably) wouldn't approve of your sexuality and who you feel the need to "titter" in front of in order to please?

MTE. You can find someone who accepts you for who you are OP

And accept yourself too: it's perfectly all right to be girly, just as it's perfectly all right to not be girly. Don't step on your fellow women when you're so hurt from unfair judgment yourself. Don't you see the sad irony here?

Man, gender roles can so fuck people up. -_- I'm glad you get to do you sometimes. Hope you're able to be happy even with the traditional stuff all around..

sounds like some real stupid pressure, OP. it's nice that you get some time off every once in a while from these strict heteronormative gender roles, but I hope your situation changes. at least with your partner.

If you have to live out a weird and false identity around your partner...you two probably aren't gonna last long.

You being super defensive about hating on """girly"" things doesn't make you look much better though tbh.

You sound so painfully young.

How? Because I think lying to your partner is a bad thing...?
Lmao okay.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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