case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-08-17 06:48 pm

[ SECRET POST #3514 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3514 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Love it or List it]


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[ALF]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #502.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Anyone here using any of the main ones?

Share your experiences and advice here.
sarillia: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] sarillia 2016-08-17 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I met my last girlfriend on OKCupid and I'm still on it now. The women looking for women side of that site seems very hesitant. My experience there is that it's all very "let's see if we make good friends and if something more comes of it, great" rather than people wanting to jump into dating. Though I did get my first short, poorly-spelled random compliment from a woman instead of a man the other day: "damn your sexy". I kind of wanted to reply "My sexy what? What did it do??"
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] diet_poison 2016-08-17 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I kind of wanted to reply "My sexy what? What did it do??"

YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] diet_poison 2016-08-17 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven't but have sort of thought about it. I dunno if I want to dive into an OKCupid-esque scene though. If I did anything of the sort I'd probably just get Tinder and treat it as a just-for-fun thing. As much as I want to meet men (actual men, like, actually mature male people...yeah I'm a bit jaded) I'm not sure I trust the sort of online introduction these things come with and, weirdly, feel I'd be less likely to be compatible with someone who was motivated to get an online dating account - if that makes sense? No, it doesn't make sense. I'm stereotyping. blech

Re: Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I was on OK Cupid for a while and it was better than any of the other sites I'd tried. With that I mean the site itself: looks decent, free, easy to use, etc.

As for the experience...Maybe I'm not the online dating type, or really any kind of dating type. Maybe I wasn't in the right headspace or something. But I found it to be so much effort for little to no gain. It very much feels like job hunting. I am both single and unemployed right now, and tbh I'm much more excited about job hunting than online dating. The former might get me money one day.
sparrow_lately: (tchalla)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-08-17 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I have an OKC account probably still? I haven't looked at it in years but I think it's still there? Last I checked I have a lot of gross messages from men despite being listed as a lesbian. (Yes, I know about the "I don't want to see or be seen by straight people" option, but I didn't when I made the account with my two best friends in 2011, lol.) I did meet my fiancé online but just by chance (LJ, tumblr).

Re: Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I've used OKCupid and Tinder (as a woman seeking women). OKCupid is good for potentially meeting people based on personality, rather than the stereotype of "everyone is just a hookup, sexsexsex" (though I've certainly had some of that on OKCupid as well, so.)

Tinder, I've met surprisingly good people/relationships. Who would've thought. A lot of drunk swiping randomly purely based on aesthetic because hardly anyone fills out a profile has led to a few great catches. I guess purely because so many people are using it, it takes all types.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] diet_poison 2016-08-17 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I actually know like, four people who met their very serious SOs on Tinder.

Re: Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Same! I met a woman (a gorgeous archaeologist, no joke) on Tinder, and we'd probably still be dating if we hadn't both moved out of that city so early in our relationship.

Re: Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Was on zoosk, paid acct for about a month. I had convos with a couple guys but it didn't lead any where. One of the was just looking for a hook up, but I looked him up on fb and he was quite nasty about his ex. There was a lot of looking at profiles but not much connecgion. And that was f looking for m. It was interesting but not sure i'd pay for it again.

Re: Online Dating

(Anonymous) 2016-08-17 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Was on a big one for a while - can't remember the name but I'm pretty sure it would have been a similar experience to places like eHarmony, etc.

Met a few people, emailed for a while, but nothing clicked. Found it kind of added a middle man to the experience of meeting potential dates socially.

Haven't tried Tinder but know lots of people on it. Mostly for hook ups, but you can find people looking for something more serious. It's faster, cheaper, more functional and has more people on it than most dating sites so I would definitely give it a go. If I was single I'd definitely be using it.

I was lucky enough to be friends with my now boyfriend for a few months before we started dating, and I much preferred that to the weird dance that is "dating". Remember to find what works for you most of all, and that other people hate the dating process just as much as you.
grausam: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] grausam 2016-08-18 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
I use(d) okcupid, I've met one or two friends that way. It probably works better if you know you'll be staying in one place for a while. some queer friends found their partners on okcupid. it took some time, but they said that it was easier to find someone for a monogamous relationship on compared to their local queer scene, which is more prone to casual hook-ups (they're in their 20s).

somehow I got one straight girl (scuze me, "heteroflexible") interested because I wasn't answering any sexual questions, which apparently made me less threatening (?) in her eyes and the go-to object for wish to sexually experiment. I stopped answering, but she keeps visiting my profile.
Edited 2016-08-18 00:05 (UTC)
aenrhien: (Default)

Re: Online Dating

[personal profile] aenrhien 2016-08-18 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
I was on both OKCupid and Grindr for a while.

OKC was... odd, even by what I hear are online dating standards, because most of my messages were from women even though I clearly specified that I'm a man seeking men exclusively. Most of them were just looking for friends and were really cool, but it's still like, how do these people find me when I shouldn't be showing up in their matches at all? I also got a message from a straight man who kept pestering me to take pictures for him in girl clothes, because I'm too pretty to be a boy. Ended up having to block that one.

Grindr was actually much less weird, because I went into that knowing all I was likely to get out of it was a hookup. I saw more cocks in twenty minutes than I had in many years leading up to that decision, ended up talking to yet another straight guy who thought I'd be prettier in girl clothes. Met a couple very nice guys through there and talked to them for a bit, but it fizzled out with all of them. Ended up uninstalling the app.


My advice is aimed pretty exclusively at MLM, so unsure how useful it'd be to F!S as a whole, but I hope you're comfortable in girl clothes, because people are going to want pictures of you in them and will be furious if you don't want to do it.