[ SECRET POST #3514 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3514 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Love it or List it]


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[ALF]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #502.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice!

[(Anonymous)]

It depends on your situation, I think. Are the relatives older or younger? Are they siblings, parents, etc.? Do you live with them?

That said, some general suggestions:

- Find ways to distance yourself gently, whether that's physically leaving (say to go hang out at a coffee shop away from the drama) or emotionally (gently changing the subject or just not engaging so much; nodding and listening more than talking)

- Learn to just say "no." Anxious people thrive on being told their anxieties are legitimate, and sometimes even reassuring someone it's not a big deal can make them feel like it *is*, just because you're talking about it. (As someone who has a LOT of anxiety, I can say that having someone tell me "no, you really don't need to make this a big deal" felt rude at first, and now I'm so grateful for it.)

- Tell them they're stressing you out! Make it about everyone, not just you or just them. Ex: "Look, I really think this is gonna be okay, let's not let this stress us out too much, okay?" keep it light, make it jokey, go ahead and point out that talking about it just builds up stress over nothing.

Idk how much any of this helps. 4/7 of my immediate family are enormous stress balls who can get pretty toxic with their drama, and I haven't figured out myself how to totally deal with it. But I think some of the most important things are be honest, frank, jokey when you can and firm when you have to be. Think of it this way--nodding and reassuring and being nice might be the easiest way, but it's often just prolonging the problem for you and for them.