[ SECRET POST #3521 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3521 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[World of Warcraft: Legion]


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03.
(Fallout 4)


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04.
[Doctor Who - 12/Clara]


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05.
(The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)


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06.
[Bojack Horseman]


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07.
[Criminal Minds]


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08.
[Elite: Dangerous]


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09.
[Street Fighter]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #503.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting thread.

[(Anonymous)]

So they all want to use you in some way or other. Nice.

Re: Venting thread.

[belladonna_took]

Huh. I just realised I don't think of the rest of them using me as a buffer in a negative way.
I would be up there letting them do it if I wasn't sick.

Re: Venting thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that's a generous sentiment on your part--but at the same time, the stress of dealing with that kind of batshittery takes a toll on people--even if they're like my dad, who is Mr. Cool even when my mom is particularly wifty and nasty. So it sounds like your "good" relatives are happy to let you absorb that stress instead of them.

A serious question: do any of these people ever do anything for you--and I mean, do anything that is actually of use to you, and that you have requested, rather than horning in and giving you "help" whose only purpose is to make them feel good about themselves?

Re: Venting thread.

[belladonna_took]

The answer to your question is no. To be fair, I think one or two of them would try. They're not well-equipped to being in that role of providing help or support though. If I wanted marijuana for pain relief? Sure. If I need someone to help me bury a body? Yes. Picking me up from the hospital because I can't be alone after a procedure? They'd flake, or try to leave me with a random "totally trustworthy" person. I know because it already happened. Not the body thing.

I try not to think about it too much. If I were to impose any kind of rule about only interacting with people who treated me well, I wouldn't have a family anymore. Even a small, shitty one. I love the kids though, and I wish I could do more for them.

Re: Venting thread.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, I know people are very quick to say "cut 'em off!" around here in response to any imperfect family dynamic. And I don't mean that you should do that. It's just...I'm floored at the selfishness and cluelessness you're having to deal with, and it's sad that even the "good" members of your family think it's okay to use you as a buffer as they do, without offering anything in exchange.

Re: Venting thread.

[belladonna_took]

Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Family is always complicated I guess. I don't think we've ever been a particularly functional one. Who knows why. I think in part the reason they're so comfortable asking things from me is that I like to help people and I don't like to ask for help. In hindsight it hasn't made for the best relationship dynamics.
I think the best option is trying to stick to the boundaries I set and let them be part of my life on my terms. So far it's not going well, but I've got time.