case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-08-27 04:15 pm

[ SECRET POST #3524 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3524 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #504.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
i was sexually assaulted as a teenager but even though i don't really consider it rape or think that it was that bad, i still call myself a rape victim in debates and to shut up rape jokes

pretty sure that's asshole-ish to actual rape victims
sparrow_lately: (furiosa)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-08-27 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
What happened happened and you're allowed to own it however you want to.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure I agree. I was younger and it went on for years, so it's not like we're the same in that respect but I don't personally view what happened to me as sexual assault. Like, I'm intellectually aware that anyone else would but I've never felt that way. But I will say that I was a victim if it's appropriate to a conversation I'm in or if I'm telling someone what happened, like when I told my SO. And I will absolutely use it to shut down rape jokes.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean I'm not sure I agree that makes you asshole-ish. Not to rape victims or anyone else.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
oh gosh i completely misunderstood your comment just... just ignore me sorry!

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
op- i didn't want to say that there's a clear line between rape and sexual assault, i fully trust any victim/survivor to decide for themselves what happened to them.
i just feel bad that i'm calling what happened to ME rape even though i don't consider it that, to give my words more weight....

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I would totally ignore you as you asked but this just hit me because I'm the same way: I don't call what happened to me rape. And yeah, I just wanted to say that because it's something I can never put into words, the exact same words you just used. There's a disconnect in my brain between my memories and my knowledge. I don't know how it is for you and I doubt it's the same based on what you said, but for me it's that I'd look at a situation identical to mine and call it rape but I don't call what I'm went through rape. Unless, like you say, it gives more weight.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, this is a complicated situation. it seems to me that, even if you don't consider it a traumatic experience, sexual assault is still sexual assault? If you're using this to shut up rape jokes, that's a very valid cause, anyway. It's only asshole-ish to rape victims if you're, like, actually being an asshole to rape victims.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-27 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
So you use your experience to lecture other people? Sounds like it might have been more traumatizing for you than you think.

I have no problem with rape jokes, but I was sexually assaulted at such a young age that I guess that's just what normal sex is like to me.

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2016-08-27 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think so. Regardless of how you choose to define yourself through your experience, it was still an experience that happened to you. You still get to claim that title even if you weren't as psychologically affected as someone else was.

Honestly, I understand the reasoning for wanting to perpetuate a narrative that rape is the worst thing that can happen to someone, and that it's life altering. That doesn't mean it necessarily is for everyone, though.

(Anonymous) 2016-08-28 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
and to shut up rape jokes

That sounds (to me, someone unqualified to say for sure) more like you're helping "actual" rape victims (ie anyone who considers their experiences 'rape').
For every time you speak up, that's one less time someone unprepared may have to choose between outing themselves or saying nothing. And maybe those people will feel a little less alone.