[ SECRET POST #3526 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3526 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



__________________________________________________



02.
[Feed The Birds, from Mary Poppins]


__________________________________________________



03.
(Once Upon A Time)


__________________________________________________



04.
[ Dota 2 esport ]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Great British Bake Off, series 3]


__________________________________________________



06. http://i.imgur.com/82bEEum.png
[The Private Report on My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness; linked for nudity/implied porn, illustrated]


__________________________________________________



07.
[We Happy Few]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Stranger Things]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #504.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. All those popular people who ignored you, OP? They're probably not the ones gushing over Barb in fandom. And if any of them are, it's probably because they felt the same as you but rather than sitting by the pool waiting for people to include them, they jumped in.

[(Anonymous)]

And if any of them are, it's probably because they felt the same as you but rather than sitting by the pool waiting for people to include them, they jumped in.

Uhhh... This feels like a weird thing to say. It's not necessarily a choice between choosing to be lonely or choosing to (metaphorically) jump into a pool.

[(Anonymous)]

It isn't always a choice between resigning yourself to loneliness and taking the figurative plunge, but it often is.

For every person who's genuinely, actively excluded, there's at least one person who takes absolutely no social initiative, and expects friends and popularity to come to them with no effort on their part. Or worse, who brushes off any attempt to include them because the people offering friendship aren't the "right" people.

(There are also people who prefer solo pursuits or small groups, but they aren't generally the ones complaining about not being noticed enough in high school.)

[(Anonymous)]

I think that's a little simplistic of a way of looking at it? I just don't really think there are very many cases where it really is just someone choosing to be that way, with no other things going on. I'm not saying it never happens but, like, I mean. Adolescence is a trying time and a weird-ass, strange-ass time. There's a ton of social anxiety and awkwardness. I have a lot of compassion for people who were lonely in high school, even if they weren't actively excluded, even if they didn't react in the most positive and productive way to that anxiety and awkwardness. Because you know what? They were fucking teenagers. Could Barb have partied down and had a good time? Probably, you know. But at the end of the day, that's not who she was, and I don't think any less of her for being afraid and uncertain about that shit, and I think it's unrealistic and wrong to blame Barb or people like Barb for being lonely.

[(Anonymous)]

Please just stop. You probably don't mean to sound like a jerk, but that's what's happening.



P.S. I was usually on the fringe of many social groups because I wasn't white. This did not change until I went to a large enough school where there were other racial minorities like me. Your interpretation of how high school works is so breath-takingly insulting and uninformed, I'm not sure how you can bring yourself to keep banging away at it.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT
Or, you know, not all high schools are the same. And you'll notice AYRT did not say EVERY case is a person being too unpersonable to make friends. But that some kids contribute to their own isolation, which is true.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

OP did say that like it was, you know, pretty generally applicable. Not true in every case, but certainly not uncommon, either. And I couldn't avoid the sense that they had more than a residue of feeling and sentiment behind the words as well.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, that's your interpretation, I guess.

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Well, to put that scene in context, Barb wasn't really invited to the party, was talked into coming along as a designated driver/chaperone, got ditched by her best friend, and ended up hanging out with a pair of drunk bullies. So it's not exactly a great scene for socializing.

[(Anonymous)]

I wasn't talking metaphorically about the pool. I was talking about the specific thing OP mentioned. And yeah, sometimes loneliness is a choice when you don't make the effort to include yourself in activities but rather sit around like a wet towel while everyone else has fun.

[(Anonymous)]

I think there are a lot of reasons why someone might sit around and not make the effort beyond just, like, "they're a wet towel". I guess. Is my point.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, a couple things.

1) Given the huge popularity of the show and Barb, it's statistically unlikely that none of the people saying those things were popular in high school.

2) "And if any of them are, it's probably because they felt the same as you but rather than sitting by the pool waiting for people to include them, they jumped in."

WTF dude. People who were outcasts in high school were outcasts for many reasons. From my own personal experience, they could be shit at sports, too poor to afford the right clothes or drive a cool car. Maybe they dare to have interests in "nerdy" things like sf/fantasy, gaming, science, whatever. Some of them had learning disabilities or physical disabilities that made them outcasts. Suggesting that outcasts are only outcasts because they were too apathetic to change their situation is incredibly condescending.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed.

I was bad at sports (or mediocre at some), was into reading, hated parties and didn't drink alcohol. Basically, I was no fun to most other people in my grade.
Pyjama party? Totally my thing! Going to the disco, drinking and smoking till you couldn't see straight? Nope. And most people wanted to do the latter.