fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3527 ]

[ SECRET POST #3527 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #504.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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05. http://i.imgur.com/3AAhXTt.jpg

Can we have enough with the "I'm a bad feminist" stuff, pleease? I swear, I see that so often, and I've never actually heard anyone call anyone ELSE a bad feminist... it just seems like such a "come here and reassure me that I'm good" thing.

And the rest of your secret was fine, just seeing that phrase for the millionth time...

Thiiiiis.

I definitely think it's out there, especially when people see prominent feminists doing things that aren't seen as inherently feminist (changing name upon marriage, presenting in a feminine manner with make-up and heels, etc.)

The author Roxane Gay has an aptly named book about this, "Bad Feminist."

Basically, I doubt there is a perfect feminist out there because it's fighting against the ingrained patriarchal conventions of our society. To fight on EVERY FRONT would be exhausting and leave little time to actually living a life.

I'm definitely a feminist, but I go along with some things that are traditionally expected of women in our society because I don't have it in me to fight that particular battle. I'm still a feminist, but I have to realize that some decisions I make also make it harder for other women to live in our society.

I present very feminine, make-up, dresses/skirts in professional settings, etc. But I have to realize that this makes it harder for other women who wish not to present in a feminine manner to have a harder time of it because there are less people visually in society backing up her decision to do so. There is one less person fighting that particular battle, so it seems as though there is less support for that woman in that decision.

In any case, OP, I doubt the VAST majority of feminists would want you to sacrifice your emotional health for not supporting one particular feminist artist 100%.

I think it's also okay to make some choices that are seen as unfeminist because the freedom to choose is really, really important. Not every choice is inherently feminist and that's okay.

I'm fairly old-school as feminism goes, but I've never understood the objection to taking someone else's surname. I mean... my birth surname is my father's name. And his father's. And there's no point in taking my mother's surname, because it's her father's. Who cares if I take my spouse's surname? Same thing, it's not inherently better or worse than taking one from my own family tree. (I might take it though if I happen to like it more.)

As far as I can see, the only "pure" feminist surname is a matronymic of some sort (e.g. Clairesdaughter), which isn't all that better because one generation on, it's sort of irrelevant.

Also, double-barreling your surnames (in the interest of equity) only works for one generation, unless you want your descendants to have names like Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel.

silly party, 12441 votes

Official Monster Raving Looney Party, if you don't mind. Real name John Lewis (funnier in Britain as it's a well known department store here), and a very nice guy; I knew him slightly at the time.

I always thought the objection was against it being a given: that a woman should ALWAYS take her husband's surname. Like, if you talk about it, and you both decide that's what you wanna do, I don't see what the problem is. As a rule, it's completely useless for people who aren't heterosexual, so I kind of don't see the point of it anyway. :/

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2016-08-31 18:22 (UTC) - Expand

I'm...what? If a woman keeps her name, and women from henceforth start keeping their own names more and more, then family trees will become matrilineal. Which makes a heck of a lot more sense because you can't always know who the father is, especially if it was a one-night stand, but you always, *always* know who the mother is.

It should always have been this way.

If it's no big deal to change your legal name, which is probably an important part of your identity and may encompass your culture and ancestry, then why is it only women who are obsessed/supposed to do it? Come back when fifty per cent of men change their names and go around being Mr Rebecca Jones.

There are people out there who will imply it, but it does feel like a whiny straw-man sometimes.

No one ever actually calls someone a bad feminist. That would be way too direct. They "friendly reminder" you to death.

+1 ENOUGH

Either "come here and reassure me I'm good" or, like, daring a horde of (probably mostly imagined) enemies to come and disapprove of you and fight you.

See: that one "I like it when my boyfriend cums in my face, but I'm not a bad feminist" article.

Agreed on your main point but I have had some twit on twitter asking me (having queried their imo rather misogynist slant on something) "and what have you done for feminism".
Well for a start I've been an active feminist since before you were born, sister, but hey. [I didn't say that, because they weren't interested in an actual discussion]

Make art.

Write about it.

No seriously. I'm not joking.

Our life is basically pointless, it's we who add meaning.

why would you submit this without telling us what it is? you might get someone interested in something you like. Why not lower the barrier?

It's Emilie Autumn, and I wouldn't recommend her to anyone. She's lied REPEATEDLY about multiple things, including her real name, her family, her ancestors... She's not a good person. Seriously, just google "Emilie Autumn lies" and prepare to spend a least a few hours with the wankfest.

Yeah, basically Amanda Palmer 2.0.

Out of concept, lying about your name as an artist seem pretty standard? Unless it's tied to an appropriative claim of ancestry that doesn't exist.

"Lied repeatedly" - huh, it's almost like celebrities want to use aliases or craft stage personas or not allow obsessive "fans" to infiltrate every aspect of their personal lives.

"It's a good message. It needs to be supported."

1. Nah. That's not really how entertainment works. It gains success on the basis of how many people enjoy it, not the worthiness of its message.

2. How is just listening to the music "supporting" her or her message at all, especially if you're listening to it on youtube as opposed to buying her albums? Even if she's monetized her videos, you could always play them on mute in the background so you didn't have to see it or hear it. For that matter, you could buy her albums without listening to them. But I suspect that you adhere to a particular brand of "activism" that's, well, extremely passive and not really very ineffective. Reblogs and likes and tumblr signal boosting alone don't pay an artist's rent, you know.

+1 to all of this. And I like this song/album. You literally don't have to "support" any art.

Yep, this. I know it makes people feel better to "support" artists by... liking them? Listening to their music? But unless you're shelling out actual money for their music, concert tickets and/or merch, it doesn't make a single bit of difference in their commercial success, or the commercial success of their message. The whole "this is so important you guys" thing on tumblr is about making people feel good about themselves without exerting much effort or spending any money and... it really doesn't accomplish anything except a circejerk. I'm sorry.

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