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fandomsecrets2016-09-03 03:57 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2016-09-03 03:57 pm
[ SECRET POST #3531 ]
⌈ Secret Post #3531 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #505.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-03 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)I'll start with a tale from my last night shift.
It's midnight when suddenly an absolutely wasted young man enters the store and announces that he's been 18 for nineteen whole seconds. Strangely, he doesn't attempt to get more alcohol after that, but instead orders a hot dog. While I'm making his hot dog, he fills me in on the details of his Santa Claus obsession. Then he leaves with his food.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the store, a pack of truck drivers and watching a large wasp slowly burning itself to death in the bug zapper with rapt attention usually reserved for major sports events.
Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-03 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)There was a customer I once dealt with, back when I worked at our local bookstore, that went well past "weird" into, "Ooooookay, you are seriously creeping me the hell out now" territory. Strap in, this'll be a bit of a long story. *Cracks knuckles*
So one Saturday morning, a customer came into the store about an hour or so after we opened up for the day, and he went over to look at a copy of a Satanic bible that we kept in a locked cabinet alongside various trading cards and other random stuff. He asked how much it was, and I opened the cabinet and looked at the price, and told him how much it cost (it wasn't that much, if I recall rightly).
He proceeded to make a comment about how weird it was that we'd have something like that next to a whole bunch of stuff for kids (while many kids did buy the trading cards stacked in that cabinet, so did plenty of adults, so it wasn't exactly a "kids only" cabinet full of items. But whatever). Then he asked what our Holy Bibles' prices were. I told him it varied, depending on the size and type and whatnot, and then he started talking about how weird it was that the Satanic Bible wasn't next to the other Bibles.
So that was a bit of a strange exchange, but okay, whatever, he then he moved on and wandered around the store and I went about my business elsewhere in the store.
A little while later, he came to the checkout with a DVD, and while there, he asked if we had any books on eggplant parmesan dishes. We didn't, but I went on Amazon to see if there were any on that topic that maybe we could order through our own system. He kept repeating over and over if he could look at the books I'd found online, so I invited him over to the computer I was standing at.
He saw one that said "Eggplant Parmesan Recipe Report", and wanted to know why it had the word "report" in it. "What are they reporting on?" he asked, and he was acting all suspicious over the use of the word "report", as if these books were filled with secret information or something. At this point he's starting to freak me out a little with these weird, random asides, but I just told him they're being silly with the title to try and placate him for the moment...
...but then he started going on about how he once sent poems about eggplant parmesan to the CIA, and how he worked in some civil aspect of government and was in the Coast Guard. He then started ranting about disabled veterans not having constitutional rights, going on and on about how he doesn't think the Constitution exists in this country anymore. He asked me a few questions regarding if I think disabled veterans deserve constitutional rights and kept going on about all the things he felt he was apparently being screwed out of because of the veterans' issue.
I'm not really allowed to discuss politics with customers, but he keeps looking at me like he wants me to respond, so I just kinda nod my head and "Mmhm" along as a result. And while I was ringing up his DVD, he just stood there for a few minutes with this sort of spaced out look on his face before giving me his cash.
After that, he looked at the issue of People which had Robin Williams on the cover, since this was shortly after Williams' death, and asked me, "So he really died? This isn't a media trick?" (I don't even know at this point, I swear...). I just simply said "Yes, he died" and tried to move on.
Next, he asked if we had any copies of the Constitution in the store. We did, and I showed him where they were. Like with the Satanic Bible earlier, he started going on about the absurdity of pricing the Constitution or something to that effect, but he brought a copy and told me he was going to read it to see what rights he deserves.
After that, he told me that if I ever become a poet, to never send poems about eggplant parmesan to the CIA. FINALLY, after that, he left. And my co-worker and I gave each other one of those wide-eyed, "What the FUCK was that all about?" looks (she'd been on the phone with another customer during much of this exchange I had with the guy, but she still heard the conversation pretty well), and I was actually shaking a little, because of how utterly bizarre the entire thing was.
And he was the first customer I'd dealt with that day, and he totally threw off my concentration for much of my shift after that to boot. So yeah. That was fun :/.
Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-04 04:44 am (UTC)(link)Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-04 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)But yeah, for as long as I live, I will never, ever understand what the hell his thing with eggplant parmesan had to do with anything else he was babbling on about. It was a very...surreal experience, for sure.
Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
At the store: there was an old guy who used to come in every few days and buy a couple bottles of Aqua Velva aftershave (god, they still produce that shit). Turns out he wasn't wearing it but actually drinking it--he was an alcoholic and couldn't afford to buy liquour. We stopped carrying it after mum figured out what was going on.
Another time, my grade 12 biology teacher (ie I was taking his class at the time) came into our store and rented two porn movies. From me. His student (I'm not even sure he recognised me tbh). I'm looking at him, thinking, you DO know I am gonna tell everyone at school about this, right? Which I did (yeah, maybe it was wrong, but maybe he shoulda gone to the video store just up the road instead of renting porn from his 17/18 year old student? He was a weird fucking creeper anyways...*ew*).
This one isn't weird, but it's too funny not to share. It didn't happen to me, but to one of the women that worked for us part time. We'll call her Jane. Anyhow we sold small packs of cigarettes (15s, I think), which were nicknamed poverty packs. We also sold boxes of condoms, 3 to a box. I'm sure you're eagerly awaiting the connection between those two products... One night a customer came in and asked Jane for a "poverty pack". She though he said "party pack" and gave him a box of condoms. Heh. We teased her later, asking just what kind of parties she went to....
At the call centre I was at the longest, the company had a contract with Sprint (we don't have sprint here, so these were all USian customers); I worked in what was called "Welcome", which for anyone who's had a Sprint phone--is that person you gotta talk to before you can actually use your phone. Not sure if they still do that or not, but knowing Sprint, they probably do.
Most of my weird customers were men who somehow thought they'd reached a sexline. I was hit on a several times, invited to come visit people. Though my fave call, which, had I not been a slash fanfic writer, probably would've counted as weird, was from a gay guy. He told me that he and his boy friend had gone and got a phone that afternoon. Dude told me there was a really cute guy working at the sprint store--did I have his name and number? Because he was really hot and dude thought the store rep was probably a bottom--and he and his boyfriend were looking for a good bottom. I was laughing more and more as he went on. I made a comment along the lines of "as long as he's not a bossy bottom". Dude paused for a minute, laughed and said "Oh, I don't think so." I'm 99% sure he was trying to shock me. Now, some of my coworkers at that call centre would've been bothered by it. But not me.
One that was kinda odd was a woman who called in. At first I thought she was calling me "lady" then about halfway through the call I realised she was calling me "baby". Didn't bother me (in fact I'd rather baby than lady! lol).
I'm sure there are other weirdos, but those are the ones off the top of my head/most memorable.
Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-04 04:42 am (UTC)(link)I work in a fabric/craft store, and today I was at the counter where we cut all the fabric. A lady walks up with a bolt of fabric (a lacy sort of sheer that we drape over the top of the cardboard insert so it hangs nicely), doesn't acknowledge me at all, flops the bolt down on the table and rips the drape upward, tearing a nice long gash into the fabric.
She looks me dead in the eye at this point, says she didn't do that, then has the audacity to demand a damage discount. Of at least half off the cut.
I was genuinely stunned silent for a moment, then I just flat-out said "No." She started getting huffy, and (of course) demanded to see a manager, but much to her dismay, I actually am one. That was satisfying, at least.
Still, goddamn. I haven't been able to shake the utter wat I felt. 'Cause just. WAT.
Re: You don't know weird until you've worked in customer service
(Anonymous) 2016-09-04 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)I'm glad you stood your ground with her, though. Being a manager would indeed be very satisfying in those kinds of moments :D.