fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3539 ]

[ SECRET POST #3539 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3539 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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A. Is your significant other your best friend? Or is there a firm difference?

A. What about other family members you're close with? Do you consider them your best friends, or again, is there a difference?

I wouldn't consider any of my family members friends tbh. Not that I don't like them, just, we have a different kind of relationship.

I wouldn't call anyone my best friend at the moment; I'm feeling a bit too much disconnect with people for the time being.

My husband is pretty much my only friend. Everyone else sucks.

This is me too.

This is me as well! I mean, I have online friends and stuff, but my husband is pretty much my best friend and only person I really hang out with on a consistent basis. As for the rest of my family, I don't really divulge too much information to them.

A. yes
A. no

A. when i had a SO, no

A. hell fuckin no, as soon as i can i'm cutting off contact with everyone i'm related to

Yep. We're each other's best friend. I'm also close to my sister. My brother less so but I don't doubt I could count on him if I was ever in trouble and I'd always have his back. We just don't talk as often.

I consider my sister to be my best friend.

Don't you often travel with her? I seem to recall you talking about that.

Re: Relationship/friendship question

kaijinscendre - 2016-09-11 20:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Relationship/friendship question

diet_poison - 2016-09-11 21:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Relationship/friendship question

kaijinscendre - 2016-09-11 21:39 (UTC) - Expand

For question one:
My SO is my best friend in the sense that they're the person I'm closest to in the world, but other people have the "best friend" distinction because--well, to quote Ann Perkins, "Never send a husband to do a best friend's job." They fulfill different functions (similar ones! but different). I'm not sure I could explain it, and again, my SO is my favorite person and on ALMOST everything, they're the person I want to talk to the most. But sometimes I need someone who's just--you know, my best friend. Not somebody who I'm gonna marry, just someone who understands me in my most walking shitpost state. In a very distinctly "best friend" way.

For two:
I'm quite good friends with my cousin, and when I was younger I would say she was one of my best friends (I still love her just as much, but we don't see as much of one another). I think whether or not I can call her a "best friend" is marred by the fact that she's five years younger than me, and so this year, for example, is the first ever where we're both adults (and even so, 18 and 23 are different places in life). So I have a lot of protectiveness with her (for other reasons as well). I bet that happens with lots of families, but not all; my SO's best friend is their sister.

I guess the thesis of this comment is that a best friend is someone with whom you are on really equal footing? Like, you share exact expectations for one another, but you're best friends, so it's not "you'll behave X way," it's "you'll be you." (As opposed to family or SOs, where you often need to be more responsive and responsible--which isn't a bad thing! I don't mind the expectation that I'll be attentive to my SO's needs etc., but with my best friend I can just text "I'm a fucking trash lizard" and she'll understand we can just groan at one another.) Hmm.

Edited 2016-09-11 20:38 (UTC)

N/A, and no. I used to think that way about my mom, but elements of my relationship with my mom were unhealthy for a long time and I think that contributed, and that she didn't do much to dispel it (I think in hindsight she would have). I can kind of see adult children having that kind of relationship with their parents, but not kids or teens.

I probably have "best friend status" with my siblings, but I wouldn't say that about my parents. Not that we aren't close, it's just, they'll always be my parents, and to me that's inherently different from a "friend" relationship. And I'm okay with that.

I've been in a number of relationships but none of them have been with people I'd honestly consider friends, outside of the relationship. Maybe one day, but they were pretty much people who came into my life as romantic interests and left the same way.

A: I don't have one!

B: My mom is my best friend. My niece is pretty dang close to being a best friend, it's just that distance and her new baby has definitely put a strain on it (just because of different interests).

I'm very close with my sister, but I wouldn't call her my best friend exactly. Maybe if we were closer in age; however, she's much older, and thus is also very protective and acts as a mentor at times. Which is great, and that's why she's the first person I go to when I have a problem, but it's still a different playing field from a "best friend" who you're sort of on more even ground with, sort of like what sparrow_lately was saying.

My husband is my best friend.
I like my husband's parents but have nothing to do with his siblings or my own.

I love my fiancé's siblings and my bro but have p much given up on their parents ~~and mine~~.

Re: Relationship/friendship question

(Anonymous) - 2016-09-11 21:32 (UTC) - Expand

A. Yes, with a caveat. I have two best friends, one of whom is my best friend for an entirely different reason than my SO. I love them both, but my love feelings for my SO differ a little from my love feelings for my other best friend.

If I had to choose between them for some dogforsaken reason though... my SO would win out by virtue of being the most important person in existence to me.

B. I'm friends with my mom and my brother and my brother's wife, certainly. I don't think there's anything "best" about it, though. Sure, I can be myself around them the same as I would be with a best friend, but I don't want to know everything about their lives in the same way as I do with the other people in my life. I also don't necessarily want to tell them about everything in my life.

I'm definitely closer to my mom than my brother though. To be fair, I tell her almost everything. The only thing I would rather not discuss with my mom is relationship/sex stuff in any serious context. I will happily listen to her complain about her own love life problems and sex jokes are always happening in my family though, so there's that.

You have a friend AND a SO? How do they tolerate the pedantry, the trash, and the pooping?

Re: Relationship/friendship question

herpymcderp - 2016-09-12 18:15 (UTC) - Expand

1. N/a but ideally would be my best friend

2. Family is family, I'm friendly with them but different to friends.

A. Yes, absolutely.

B. There was a time I would have answered yes, but I'm not sure I have a "best friend" other than my SO right now. That said, I am very very close with all my siblings and consider (most) of them friends, not just siblings.

1. I have a best friend that is not my bf, but I guess in many was my bf is too. The thing is, if I'm having relationship issues, I can go to my best friend about it.

2) I'm really close to my mom and I don't think I'll ever have a relationship like that with another human being.but, it's different that friends, yeah.

Re: Relationship/friendship question

sparrow_lately - 2016-09-12 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

I think I would be able to call Mum a friend, which is good considering I live with her. Best friend? I don't think I would phrase it that way, as I view a "best friend" in a bit different light than I'd view family, and Mum is family.

A. I don't have a significant other. I'm also currently debating the veracity of the friendship between myself & my default best friend, so it's a bit of a sore spot.

A. I consider my dad one of my best friends.

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