fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3543 ]

[ SECRET POST #3543 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3543 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Criminal Minds]

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09. [nf]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 10 secrets from Secret Submission Post #506.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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I dunno...as someone who self-harmed this comment irks me. I'm not saying no-one in the history of humanity ever did bit for attention,but the equal it to special snowflakeness sort of sucks. Because there are reasons people do that that have nothing to do with being cool on tumnblr.

NAYRT

I super agree. But I think the same is also probably true of the people we like to bitch about on Tumblr, to a large extent.

da

Not everyone who self-harms does it for attention. In fact, I'd bet money that the majority of people who self-harm do not do it for attention, and in fact frequently hide it.

But there was a period in which it was a trend in certain circles to talk loudly about your SI, post pictures and swap techniques, and essentially make it a really uncomfortably performative thing. If you happened to miss that phase, I envy you.

I've seen some of it, and I still believe that even in that group the majority had genuine issues.

DA

Them having genuine issues that caused them to seek attention in such a desperate way, or to pretend to self harm in order to fit in with a cool crowd, is a separate issue from actual self harm, however. It's not good to conflate the two.

I think my point is they're not as much separate categories as you imagine them to be.

I get that point. I disagree.

Can they both be grouped into people who need help? Maybe. Not all of them, but some. But that group isn't the one I'm talking about, though. And I do not feel comfortable grouping the emo princess girl who talks about self-harming for attention because it was cool in the 90s but does not actually do it - and I knew many of those in high school - in the same category as someone who self-harms.

Fair enough if she does not actually do it, but once you do, that is a certain point you cross, even if your motivations might be different.

I agree, if someone is literally harming themselves through peer pressure to conform then they have issues, though different ones.

I should have said "self-harming" as in not actually doing it, just talking loudly as if they did and faking going to extremes - complete with photos of ketchup as fake blood and shit, I kid you not - because it was cool to be edgy and emo at the time. Like kids who pretend to be in gangs but would never really be in one.

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2016-09-16 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2016-09-16 01:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2016-09-16 13:35 (UTC) - Expand

Fandom!secrets tradition requires me to point out: the fact that someone is self-harming "for attention" does not mean they're not in pain, and it doesn't mean they don't need help.

This.

Of course, but it's not the same as actual self-harm. I don't know what's so confusing about that.

Something can be an issue without being the same issue.

I agree that it's a kind of different thing. But implicitly positioning them against people who are self-harming, like it's a competition for legitimacy, bothers me. I think it diminishes their problems, and I think it's harmful. When people talking about it as special snowflakes and implicitly saying that their problems don't count, and how people are just doing it to be trendy, that does bother me.

All I said was those people existed, which they did. I didn't position them against anyone.

As I said below, for example, teenagers who adopt gender identity labels to be cool and follow trends exist. Pointing that out doesn't mean you're calling all trans people fake because they obviously aren't. But do those people exist? Yes. Did people who pretended to self-harm exist? Yes.

The point was, fandom always had these kinds of people in it.

Well I would say that one of the things that bothers me here is that - at least on my reading - it seemed as though the conversation wasn't talking about "people who self-harm" and "people who pretend to self-harm". It looked to me like it was talking about "people who REALLY self-harm" and "people who self-harm, but just for attention". I hope you can understand why that troubled me a lot more. I apologize if I misread what was being said.

Ah, no, I meant the emo princesses of the 90s who would talk about it all the time but weren't actually self-harming. It was just trendy to be emo and sooo torn up inside.

If you are harming yourself, surely that's self-harm by definition. Regardless of whether you want people to know about it or not?

yea as someone who used to self-harm for attention i can promise you my scars look just the same...

that sounded way edgier than i intended sry

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2016-09-16 13:41 (UTC) - Expand

This.

AYRT

I should have put quotes around "self-harming" because I didn't mean people who really self-harmed, but I disagree with you here. Lots of people would pretend to for attention. Tons and tons and tons and tooons of those during the "emo" 90s, especially in band fandoms.

Lots of teens pretend to drink and do drugs or be in gangs for attention while not actually doing any of this; this doesn't make teen drug use or drinking or gangs not a problem. The people pretending and the people actually doing are separate issues.

the literal same goes for transgender people too

The literal same goes for a lot of issues. Saying there were in existence people who pretended, is not saying the issue itself isn't real. Confused teenagers with convoluted gender identities are real. Actual trans people are real too. One doesn't negate the other.

I don't know why people keep taking it that way.

Well, yeah, and I tend to give those the benefit of the doubt mostly...

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