fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3546 ]

[ SECRET POST #3546 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3546 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #507.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I have too little money and no idea what to do with my life. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Also, my cats won't stop meowing.

I feel that :( (except the cats, I decided I'm not responsible enough for pets)

I'm perpetually tired and I can't stop wasting time.

Same.

Thirded.

Well, shit, I coulda just written that.

Well my body is a physical disaster, I have two different eating disorders in addition to anxious, depressive, self-destructive, self-harming, and obsessive compulsive tendencies, I come from a long line of alcoholics, drug addicts, and crazy people, my hair is frizzy as all fuck, I'm legally blind, I bite my nails, I'm a huge klutz, easily distracted, and perennially convinced I'm in the wrong field, I talk too fast, I'm a dyke with baggage, I've been disowned four times, I've been in continuous fairly serious pain for four days now, I'm tone deaf, clingy, a procrastinator, and have four tattoos my parents, who believe tattoos are the most disgusting things in the world, are bound to find out about sometime.

Also I need to write a lesson plan and make a PowerPoint for tomorrow and I haven't done it.

¯\_(😎)_/¯

Do the powerpoint and write down all the things you like about yourself cause I'm suree there's just as many :)

Aw<3

I feel suicidal when I think about sex because everything that turns me on is so terrible.

Honestly it can't be that bad...and there's mutually kinky romances.

serious executive function problems. well hidden social anxiety. So many people over the years have definitely thought I was being stuck up and brushing them off when I just have no idea how to talk to people or be friends. some of them have figured out that I'm a barely functioning person, of course. I'm not sure if that's better.

My life turned out a lot less awesome than I thought it would be so I am full of bitterness.

Yup, that would be my problem too. :(

How long do you have?

I'm not happy with my life, but I self sabotage nd I'm too exhausted to unfuck things.

But there's so much about you that's wonderful!

Re: What's your damage FS

kallanda_lee - 2016-09-18 21:40 (UTC) - Expand

Well, nothing too much. Pretty deeply anxious and depressive personality, and then a very deeply embedded low self-image, and a pretty substantial amount of neediness that I've never really come to terms with or felt remotely comfortable or alright with.

About 1d6

no money no job

but at least I have a roof over my head (thanks parents!)

I'm not too bothered tho because I'll probably save up enough money to move somewhere warmer so I can build myself a hut and live in the wild without fear of winter

Well I played my first ....tabletop game? It's like verbal roleplaying in a group with dice?

And I was a navigator with a 5 which meant I only needed to roll the dice once in some situations.

Christ alive I thought I was gonna be a fuckin wizard rocket scientist when I was a kid, what the fuck was going through my head.

Sorry I became a fucking nobody kiddo.

Arthritis, carpal tunnel, cankling (as in not quite cankles but getting there), bad back, shitty job that I'm supposed to appreciate (and I do but sometimes I wonder just how much I'm actually needed), lack of friends, lack of reliable/trustworthy people, so much fanfic to write and not enough time to push through the writer's block and keep up with new source material, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, plenty of wanting to move forward but lack of direction.

Severe PTSD and chronic depression and suicidal ideation. I feel perpetually outside most social groups because I grew up too hard for nice regular people and there's no way to turn "have I told you about that time I stabbed a guy and then we did some drugs and fucked?" into a charming anecdote. As a result I default to contributing nothing at all to conversations, effectively destroying any chance at meaningful friendship. I have obsessive thoughts that I don't know how to stop short of violent self-harm, so I'm constantly dwelling on my failures and faults to the point where I work myself up into panic attacks over things that happened decades ago.

Probably more, but that's enough for now.

Well...let's see.

Due to a school experience that taught me nothing and hid the consequences of my mistakes from me, I still struggle with responsibility. I have a serious problem with impulsive behavior. I'm still trying to unlearn a lot of this.

I am also trying to unlearn binge eating patterns that is relied on in high school and while being depressed after high school.

Lately I've been having the urge to just sleep in the middle of the day when I need to get shit done.

I have a hard time getting myself to go through with and finish stuff but have tons of ideas I want to use.

I dislike my body for doing gross but normal human body stuff and sometimes want to curl up because I'm so disgusting I can't leave the house. Because I did something that human body is designed to do.

Also, I'm getting shit hours at this new job and I need more hours because insurance in this state costs me $316 -.-;;;;

So a lot.

Edited 2016-09-19 05:01 (UTC)

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