fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3564 ]

[ SECRET POST #3564 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3564 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Keeping Up Appearances]

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03.

[set the thames on fire]

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[Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Magic Knight Rayearth]

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05.

[Dragon Ball Z]

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06.

[Obduction]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #509.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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How is everyone?

Sick of this headache I've had for weeks now. Mentally frustrated with life in general.

Headaches are the worst :( Hope you get better.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

philstar22 - 2016-10-06 23:20 (UTC) - Expand

Better, cause I stopped taking other people's shit. This most is the result from having been halfway poisoned by antidepressants I had a bad reaction to. So, those went to the bin, and I'll likely be getting a new gp. Now I'm just angry. And working on getting fired. Which means I'll be broke, but tbh this is probably the best I felt for a year.

<3

I'm so so so happy you're feeling a little better. Keep not taking people's shit. It's magical.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

kallanda_lee - 2016-10-06 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Pre-fluey, I still have energy but I sniffle like crazy. Otherwise good.

How are you?

Re: Mental Health Check-In

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-06 23:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mental Health Check-In

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-06 23:33 (UTC) - Expand

I wrote the date down today and then found myself staring at it for ages. The last ten years of my life have just been a deliberate stagnant waste. All the future holds for me is more stagnation.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

kallanda_lee - 2016-10-06 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

I feel like my depression is drowning me but I'm fighting it and my support system is brilliant. I put on an alarming amount of weight in the last week so that was another hit I didn't need. I got my paperwork this week so my dog is now my service animal and it's a huge relief to be able to go out sometimes without having a total breakdown. This is the hardest time of year for me and last year I didn't leave the house once the whole of October. My mind is stuck on bad memories and even the happy memories hurt and I wish I could block them all out forever. The biggest help I've had with grief was from a blogger but now everything I got from that is tainted because she was murdered. I hate myself for it but sometimes I wish I could have my brain wiped of all traces good or bad so I could live again. Because I don't feel like I'm living at all.

I just read an article about a horrific pain disorder that can apparently be caused by any tiny thing, it's just a matter of bad luck, and is also relatively common. Now I'm shaking and trying to live with the knowledge that I could have happily gone my whole life without. I need a specific reason to believe it won't happen to me, but can't ask for that from you because I don't want to say what it is in case anyone else looks it up and gets freaked out to hell and back too.

tl;dr: bad

Mostly functional but pretty down in the dumps self-image-wise lately.

Not so hot. I think my ptsd has actually gotten worse from where it was earlier in the year, which is such bullshit because it should be getting better over time.

Kinda drowning in depression lately. About a month ago, the person who usually keeps me from killing myself when I get like this died in a car accident, and I don't have it in me to try and form another attachment like that considering I don't even know how I formed this one.

I should see a therapist, but surprise, that takes money, and the job offer I had before I took off to South Carolina for a week for my friend's funeral was withdrawn because I was out of town and couldn't attend orientation.

Oh Lordy. TLDR I'm stuck till December working one on one every single day with someone who is just. Profoundly unpleasant to be around. And it's not so great for my morale.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

kallanda_lee - 2016-10-06 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

Exhausted. I had a blow-up/meltdown on Monday and skipped class, and I can feel myself falling behind in some other classes, and I just get so angry and frustrated because I'm caring for my mom, but because she's a drunk, not only is she not eligible for hospice, I'm not eligible to get respite care. And I just want to grab her doctors by the lapels and scream because yes, she's drinking herself to death, but it's partially because she has terminal cancer with no cure, and despite hoping I'll never drink if I ended up in her position I might, too.

So I'm dealing with a drunk cancer patient every time I go home and I feel awful for myself and for her, and I can't get away, so when I'm really stressed out I blow up at her. I have to change her bandages myself because she's not eligible for in-home care either, and her doctor is worried about her getting maggots in the wounds, and ffs, she's basically being tortured to death and I'm being tortured watching her, how is denying her end of life care not illegal?

I'm at the point where getting anything else done at all feels like a gold-star achievement, tbh.

I've never had dysphoria this bad before. It used to be almost comforting, like the body I desired and the body I had somehow overlapped and coexisted. Now it just feels like I'm locked in a cage too small to move around in.

I think I've managed to pull myself out of a downward spiral. There was a situation that was giving me panic attacks whenever I thought about it and the longer I let it go without dealing with it the worse it was. But now I've got a plan in place and I feel a lot better about the whole thing.

well. my cat is dying. suddenly has cancer. probably not going to last the weekend. so, mental health not the best, but i've been in worse places. one of those worst places was this morning when I got the news, but hey, little better now.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-07 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

I'm back to my anxiety regularly inducing insomnia which is fantastically not fun. In particular, due to reasons, I have been especially anxious all day today and I sure would love to not be but here we are

More or less stable for now. I have not yet heard any more from Centrelink after that phone appointment, so I don't know if they have decided to leave me be as a case of someone who really needs to stay on the pension.

Other than that, I feel mildly depressed, and I should avoid watching too many videos about Feminism and SJWs, because they just end up upsetting me and contemplating the end of the world.

It's sort of hard to separate what my body is feeling from my mental state.

Everything is bad.

Good. Mostly good. Still having issues with having to see one person, and randomly getting upset about it. It's gotten a very little bit better. Hope that trend continues.

It was bad enough for a while that I thought about trying to up my medication again. But I cut it in half last year and have been fine since...I'd like to keep it that way.

I have been in a really bad spot mentally all week, but today I managed to get up and actually go to class! So an improvement~

im actually doing my post meltdown internet browsing while i feel dead inside at this very moment, so funny you would ask

Mad at the current strain of pessimism/nihilism going around. It's weird, because I'm something of a pessimist/nihilist myself but after constantly seeing people declaring how awful 2016 is, how all these celebrities are dying, how the current US election is a dumpster fire, how there's these morons dressed like clowns running around scaring people to death, how people just want a giant meteor to come kill us all...it's kind of making me want to get up and yell FUCK YOU ALL AND FUCK YOUR CYNICISM I'M STILL GONNA HAVE FAITH IN THE WORLD AND YOU CAN ALL SUCK IT. I guess it's because I've spent so long trying to tell myself that the world isn't as horrible as my depression makes it out to be that suddenly seeing everyone around me go "Fuck the world burn it all" pisses me off and makes me feel like I did all that work of "getting better" for nothing.

It's a weird feeling, dunno if this makes a lotta sense.

I thought I was doing better because I was getting through most days without thinking, "All my problems would be solved if I jumped off the bridge!"
Then I realised that I start every day by wanting to lie in bed until I decay and turn to dust. Which probably isn't good. :/

Also, my government-provided shrink is useless as fuck, but I can't bring myself to seek out another; and I think I should find a psychiatrist and ask them to help me work out if I have ADD, but I'm scared that my GP (who would have to give me a referral) might think I'm a hypochondriac. I'm sure she won't, but still.

Re: Mental Health Check-In

(Anonymous) - 2016-10-07 08:02 (UTC) - Expand

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