fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3570 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3570 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 34 secrets from Secret Submission Post #510.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I always have a knee jerk reaction to "armchair diagnosis." I always automatically assume that people say "I'm X!" just to get away with acting like twats on the Internet. People who actually have said illness usually will try NOT to draw attention to it and generally don't use it as an excuse to be shitlords, from what I've seen at least.

Tourettes isn't heard of because it's not as "glamorous" or "cool" and only generally works in real life (Motor/Vocal tics usually don't effect what you type or how you act.) You can't be an ass and then say "Oh, I have Tourettes, I don't know any better!" because it doesn't work that way.

People who actually have said illness usually will try NOT to draw attention to it and generally don't use it as an excuse to be shitlords, from what I've seen at least.

This is, to be frank, an incredibly broad overgeneralization about how people with mental illness behave. It is really not something you can generalize that much.

Which is why I used words like "usually" and "generally." I'm aware that you really can't say "This is how people with X act, no exceptions" which is why I chose words that have some wiggle room in them.

It's not a question of "a little bit of wiggle room", it's a massive generalization. And you're using that generalization as evidence that people who fall outside those lines aren't really mentally ill. So.

Never said that. You're reading into things that aren't there. So.

DA

I'm autistic and tried to write a post in the #actuallyautistic tags about how we should respect neurotypical spaces to some degree. Things like using smaller stims if possible or sitting someplace less visible if they need to stim in a way that's distracting to people around them.

You'd think I asked them to murder a kitten. I got anon hate calling me ableist and people made passive aggressive posts about "but what's small enough?" or "how will I know what's bothering other people?"

I tried to be as specific as possible and people found loopholes anyway, like they expect every scenario spelled out in detail or it doesn't count. It felt less like "I genuinely don't get this" and more like "aha, loophole!"

Maybe I'm bitter and jaded, but I thought polite people aren't supposed to impinge on others in public whenever possible. That means don't make noise and don't annoy the people around you in a situation where attention is focused up front, like class or a church sermon. I said there are situations where someone can't be quiet(ie they need to vocal stim a certain way or have tourettes tics that are noisy), and those people might have to bow out of the activity or find a place where noise is allowed like relaxed theater performances.

Somebody who screams in a library will get kicked out regardless of their disability status. Somebody who makes noise in churches or classrooms will be asked to leave unless they offer an explanation for why they make noises or movements. They will still be disruptive, though.

I tried to spell that all out and it wasn't enough. I still got called an ableist and talked to like I'm trash. I lost a lot of respect for the people in those tags that day. I don't say anything on the subject anymore because I have witnessed how vicious people on Tumblr can get and I don't want to get chewed up and spit out.

Yikes, sorry that happened to you. Sometimes, people just want to score their points on the Internet, and there is no winning with them. It wouldn't matter how many clarifications you issued; like you said, they were just looking for the loopholes. There's no way to carry on a conversation with people like that.

I'm sorry this happened to you, anon.

If it helps at all, I promise to remember this comment if I'm ever feeling aggravated by people like the ones you're describing. I'll think about your comment, and about how the majority of autistic people are like you, so that I don't end up feeling angry at an entire group of people who deserve support, simply because there are a vocal few who use their status as an excuse to be jerks.

AYRT

Thanks, that means a lot. It bothers me that on Tumblr you are either a perfect cinnamon roll or you are problematic trash and the line between that is saying or doing one thing wrong at the wrong moment.

I think it shows what kind of loyalty people have if they think status is more important than friendship or a person's feelings. It's hypocritical seeing them act like they're above criticism when they won't offer the same leeway to someone else.

Sometimes I ache to say "we can't expect neurotypicals to respect us if we don't show them any respect."

Because I know I'll get a flood of "they never fucking respected us so why do we have to respect them?!"

Basic human respect is a given, yes. Everyone should get that.

Respect on a personal level, respect that gets you heard, has to be earned. The noisy "you're ableist!" portion of the autistic community can't grasp that and as a result they're screaming into the void.

Then again, autistic people's voices often get ignored anyway. I understand perfectly the frustration. But reblogging the post of a mom who talks about putting her child in ABA and calling her an abuser doesn't make anyone want to listen to us.

I really think a lot of them do that for the sake of being seen tearing another "awful autism mom" down and not for the benefit of the autistic kid being talked about in the post. What's more sad is those community members think they're helping when they aren't.

Mob mentality sucks. I hate that I can't say anything without risking being ostracized, betrayed and having my dox all over Tumblr.

I am frequently tempted to make a sideblog to say what I long to say, except I've already maxed out my sideblog limit, plus it'll get blocked in two seconds flat by everyone in the tag.

[ SECRET POST #3570 ]

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.)

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.)

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.)

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.)

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.)

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.) DA

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.) DA

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.) DA

Re: "Self-dx" on Tumblr... (Please hear this out.) AYRT