fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3580 ]

[ SECRET POST #3580 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3580 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm kinda airheaded and awkward and I feel like people don't take me seriously because of that. Early twenties for some context.

Wait 20 years.

I'm sorry. But that sounds like something you could change about yourself, if you wanted. It looks like there are two parts to that:

1) appearing more focused on the conversation at hand, less inclined to babble, more knowledgeable about what you're talking about
2) social skills and the realization that a lot of people feel awkward at one time or another, but if you can squelch obvious physical tells, chances are nobody will know

Try to remember appointments and such? A bit hard to give advice with out more info.

This is too vague. What are you doing that suggests that you're "kinda airheaded" and what things do you do that you believe are awkward? In what ways do people fail to take you seriously?

As others have said, this is vague, but I find it helps to stop apologizing for really, really minor things that no one needs an apology for, since it just calls attention to the fact you made a mistake and makes you look nervous. Often, you just need to say "Oops, I missed the turn. I'll turn around" and leave it at that and not continue to talk about it. Maybe try not to act flustered over things, even if that's how you feel inside.

At first, listen more than you talk.

Have something to say when you do talk. Don't laugh or babble just to fill the silence. Silence is okay.

Don't feel like you have to agree with someone to be agreeable. Especially if you don't really agree.

Conversely don't fight with someone if you disagree with them. You don't even have to tell how you feel. A sure mark of immaturity is feeling like your opinion is so important that everyone must hear. They don't.

Have an opinion though. Even if you don't talk about it. Having an opinion that you decline to discuss--e.g. politics at work--is not the same as having no opinion or being clueless and people can tell.

Read a lot. Keep up with news.

Stay calm. Try to react to problems by asking or suggesting what you can do to help solve them instead of asking whose fault or why you.

Try not to let the little things get to you. Practice hiding it if they do.

con't.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Only hotshot kids think they know everything there is to know. Don't be afraid to be wrong, either. Don't be afraid to say you learned something.

Being aware of your own weaknesses is one step. Being aware and able to laugh about them is another. Being aware, able to laugh about them, and mention what you're trying to do to help them is the third. Assume every job interview will ask you this question, and the last thing is what they want to hear.

Have confidence in yourself. Know what you don't know, but know what you do know that others don't, too. Everyone's good in some areas that others are not. Own your decisions, whatever they are.

And in some irony take note that nobody can tell you what being mature means, including me.

As a possibility, is it certain people who make you feel awkward and airheaded or just constantly? Do they mock you for things or loudly point out mistakes? Are past mistakes brought up without your prompting, especially if you've just done something good?

If it's something that you're constantly being put into the Airhead Box with your friends you might need to branch out, try some new things and meet new groups of people. Take an art class, join a club, see what events are going on at your local library. It's also good practice to learn to make small talk and find common ground with lots of different types of people.

I think actually one of the biggest things to not seem awkward is to be aware of how you LOOK more than how you act/sound. So, make sure your clothes are neat and well put-together (so like a blouse+leggings+cute clean shoes rather than t-shirt+jeans+dirty tennis shoes), style your hair in a way that's fashionable rather than doing the messy frizzy ponytail thing, wear a little makeup if you have blemishes, etc. (obv, assuming you're a girl? If you're a dude, stop dressing like you're 12, get a good haircut, take a fucking shower, etc.)

If you look mature and serious, people will tend to perceive you that way regardless of how ditzy or awkward you might sound.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3580 ]

How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?