[ SECRET POST #3580 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3580 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 55 secrets from Secret Submission Post #512.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

give people advice but especially me

How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm kinda airheaded and awkward and I feel like people don't take me seriously because of that. Early twenties for some context.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

Wait 20 years.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry. But that sounds like something you could change about yourself, if you wanted. It looks like there are two parts to that:

1) appearing more focused on the conversation at hand, less inclined to babble, more knowledgeable about what you're talking about
2) social skills and the realization that a lot of people feel awkward at one time or another, but if you can squelch obvious physical tells, chances are nobody will know

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

Try to remember appointments and such? A bit hard to give advice with out more info.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

This is too vague. What are you doing that suggests that you're "kinda airheaded" and what things do you do that you believe are awkward? In what ways do people fail to take you seriously?

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

As others have said, this is vague, but I find it helps to stop apologizing for really, really minor things that no one needs an apology for, since it just calls attention to the fact you made a mistake and makes you look nervous. Often, you just need to say "Oops, I missed the turn. I'll turn around" and leave it at that and not continue to talk about it. Maybe try not to act flustered over things, even if that's how you feel inside.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

At first, listen more than you talk.

Have something to say when you do talk. Don't laugh or babble just to fill the silence. Silence is okay.

Don't feel like you have to agree with someone to be agreeable. Especially if you don't really agree.

Conversely don't fight with someone if you disagree with them. You don't even have to tell how you feel. A sure mark of immaturity is feeling like your opinion is so important that everyone must hear. They don't.

Have an opinion though. Even if you don't talk about it. Having an opinion that you decline to discuss--e.g. politics at work--is not the same as having no opinion or being clueless and people can tell.

Read a lot. Keep up with news.

Stay calm. Try to react to problems by asking or suggesting what you can do to help solve them instead of asking whose fault or why you.

Try not to let the little things get to you. Practice hiding it if they do.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[(Anonymous)]

As a possibility, is it certain people who make you feel awkward and airheaded or just constantly? Do they mock you for things or loudly point out mistakes? Are past mistakes brought up without your prompting, especially if you've just done something good?

If it's something that you're constantly being put into the Airhead Box with your friends you might need to branch out, try some new things and meet new groups of people. Take an art class, join a club, see what events are going on at your local library. It's also good practice to learn to make small talk and find common ground with lots of different types of people.

Re: How can I come off as more mature?

[soldatsasha]

I think actually one of the biggest things to not seem awkward is to be aware of how you LOOK more than how you act/sound. So, make sure your clothes are neat and well put-together (so like a blouse+leggings+cute clean shoes rather than t-shirt+jeans+dirty tennis shoes), style your hair in a way that's fashionable rather than doing the messy frizzy ponytail thing, wear a little makeup if you have blemishes, etc. (obv, assuming you're a girl? If you're a dude, stop dressing like you're 12, get a good haircut, take a fucking shower, etc.)

If you look mature and serious, people will tend to perceive you that way regardless of how ditzy or awkward you might sound.

Food control

[(Anonymous)]

What are some tips to keep myself some eating food I don't need to eat. I have a bad habit of going off my diet (calorie counting) by absentmindedly snacking on something I shouldn;t. How do I trick my brain into understanding that I don't actually need those jelly beans.

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

Well... the easiest solution is to not buy them and have them around to eat at all.

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

Just don't buy them or keep them around. If you don't keep stuff you want to avoid eating in your kitchen or your desk at work or wherever, then you won't even have the option of eating them.

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

Have less caloric stuff around to put in your mouth, I guess

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

You should only be eating organic, fair trade, shade-grown, dolphin-safe, sustainably-produced, cruelty-free, locally-sourced, fancy candy made by small businesses.

Naturally, this stuff is more expensive, so you can't afford to buy much of it, and it's not usually sitting around available for free.

If you eat the cheap candy sitting around, you are a terrible person who hates all the cute baby seals.

Think of the baby seals. Don't eat the cheap candy.

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

The key word for me here is 'absentmindedly'. How absentmindedly are we talking here? Because when I try to watch my snacking I usually catch myself as I'm gazing into the fridge trying to decide what to have. I then ask myself: am I actually hungry or am I getting a snack because I'm bored (or out of habit or whatever)? If it's the latter I can usually force myself to walk away and wait until I am hungry (and pat myself on the back for a job well done), and if it's the former I try to actually eat something of substance. It's far from perfect, but I do find myself eating a lot less chocolate and cookies and more sandwiches and stuff.

Re: Food control

[philstar22]

Honestly I just don't buy things. If I want a treat, I buy a single serving or two servings and don't buy a whole lot. Like yesterday I was having an ice cream craving, so I bought a pint of mint chocolate chip. I didn't buy a whole big thing of it because then I'll just keep eating it.

I find that if I'm having a craving, it is better to give it a little something to satisfy it. Because otherwise it just keeps getting stronger until I end up overdoing it.

Re: Food control

[(Anonymous)]

I carry baby carrots or mini-tomatoes always in my bag and eat them every time I get peckish. Fruit is also good. With apple you get the full feeling faster than with outher fruits.

So basically, munch away, but munch healthy stuff.

Low carb desserts

[kaijinscendre]

Anyone have some recipes you have actually tried and enjoyed? Wanted to make something my sister's boyfriend can eat.

Online furniture shopping

[(Anonymous)]

Where do you shop for furniture online? I need a bookcase and the local furniture store has nothing I want

Heating

[(Anonymous)]

I'm trying to save money this winter. I read that during the day, the heater should be at 68 degrees, when you're sleeping at 65 degrees. Is this a standard practice that most people do to save money? Do you still feel comfortable in the house?

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

1. Am I the only one who doesn't have any interest in other people's home improvement/gardening feats? I swear the older I get, the more and more people I know are moving into new homes and gardening and things like that - which is cool except they expect me to care what shade of pink their wallpaper will be. Is it that I haven't really owned a place (so can't relate to wallpaper or gardening or anything), or are most people disinterested, just better at faking it?

2. Either way, how do you feign interest, OR tactfully bring the conversation to something more relatable without talking over the person?

As a counterpoint: coming off less mature than you are.

[kallanda_lee]

I'm at that awkward point where people are switching from calling me "Miss" to "Ma'am" and I don't like it.

So tips on coming across younger than you are, I guess.

Which MCU movie should I watch?

[philstar22]

So narrowed it down to between Guardians, Thor 2, and Ant Man because I watched the Iron Man and Cap movies a few weeks ago. But I can't decide. So which should I watch?

Fanfic Problems

[(Anonymous)]

So I'm in a writing class this year, and I submitted a retooled fanfic as my story because I couldn't think of any ideas to write about. The canon is set in a modern day office, but the fic I submitted was a medieval times/time travel AU with the names changed too. Still, I keep feeling like I'm going to be expelled for plagiarism every time I go to class.

Anyone else been in this position before?