[ SECRET POST #3590 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3590 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #513.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It's been said before, but if you want a friend, then you have to be a friend.

It's just that you have to make peace with the possibility they won't return the favor. If they do, though, then great.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly.

I have often felt like the OP. Except I'm aware that there really are friendships like the ones on tv out there. But for some reason, I couldn't seem to A) acquire many of those, and B) make them last.

Then I began to realize that it takes two to tango. There are people who have tried to make friends with me, or to take our friendship to another level, and I've ignored or outright rejected the effort. Sometimes cause I didn't realize that's what they were doing, but...

I'm not always, or I wans't in the past, responsive to other people's emotional needs. And, pro tip, hard truth here, you have to do that to make and keep good friends. You will be asked to do things you do not feel like doing, and you need to do them sometimes if you want people to stick around. I mean, have boundaries and stuff (try not to give them more than they're giving back to you if you truly can't afford to) but sometimes you will have to talk to your friend when you'd rather be doing soething else, or you will have to listen to them talk about something you don't care about or you will have to like, drive them to the dentist.


I find that people in fandom are much quicker to reject offers of friendship or dump a friend over super trivial stuff compared to the mundane world. Mundanes will choose and keep their friends for a variety of reasons but Fen seem to want a perfectly compatible brain. after all, if you don't work with someone or attend school/church with them or live in the same building (or the same city/state/country) and you're not trying to date, all you have left is the ideas you share. So we get people refusing to speak to other people because they ship the wrong pairings.

and then they ask "why don't I have any friends?"

[(Anonymous)]

"It's been said before, but if you want a friend, then you have to be a friend."

This is the part that I feel so many people forget. If you want a friend who will stay up at 3 AM to talk to you when you're having an emotional crisis, you also have to be that friend who is up at 3 AM for someone else. There have been times when I've gone to work exhausted because a friend needed someone to talk to, but likewise, there are people who have been up at 3 AM for me. True friendship is about give and take, and you can't constantly take from others without giving in return. It's not always smooth sailing, but no friendship that is truly worth it is.