fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3629 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3629 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Reign of Fire]

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03.

[Pitch]

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04.

[Dan and Phil]

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[Dirk Gently's holistic Detective agency]

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[Project Runway]

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08.

[Voltron: Legendary Defenders]

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09.

[Yuri!!! On Ice]

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10.

[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 62 secrets from Secret Submission Post #519.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random picture of this lady ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Finishing a degree isn't irresponsible and doesn't mean that she finds the baby a "nuisance" or "inconvenience." While it's always possible that that's the case, you're jumping to conclusions and falling into an intensely misogynistic line of thought. Take a step back, buddy.

So much this.

Babies are an inconvenience. They're expensive, fragile and demanding. That doesn't mean they're not important, or worth it, but no one has a kid to make their own life easier.

Ok, I don't think you understand where I'm coming from with this. Her degree is not "irresponsible" and graduating is incredibly important. But if there isn't a life threatening reason not to be with your newborn, YOU NEED TO BE WITH YOUR NEWBORN. It's that simple. She no longer comes first. If she cannot do that, she shouldn't be having this baby.

fuck off

I literally can't believe it's controversial to suggest parents should prioritise their child's needs

Like, am I in the fucking twilight zone or something

I can't believe you're such a shit friend, but here we are.

You sound very young.

Shit friend = suggesting parents should prioritise their newborn

DOES NOT COMPUTE

Oh oh, now I see you. Yep, you're a shit friend. And if you're not the OP of the thread, then you are just a shit person.

That baby will not be irreparably SCARRED like you seem to think. So fuck off with the judgement and sit the fuck down.

This is not about being a shit friend you fucking numbskull. It's about PRIORITISING A BABY ABOVE FINISHING A MINOR.

You act like she's putting the kid in a fucking train station locker while she goes to party.

No, I'm acting frustrated and flabbergasted that people are so upset at being told children's needs should come first. If OP is right, this extreme option (and 5 days a week is extreme, REALLY, just ask any midwife or health visitor) is not necessary, just desirable. And you have to put your personal desires on hold when you have a baby. You just do.

No one here thinks a child's needs (within certain reason) shouldn't come first, but being able to feed and clothe that child is part of those needs. And judging a new parent for doing what they think will be best for their child (either short term or long) isn't the best way to go about it.

If OP feels so strongly about their friend's decision, then the best thing they could do would be to help their friend investigate all options and opportunities to do what's best, not sit back and judge their friend for making what seems to her (the friend) like the most sensible thing.

You can still feed and clothe a child if you deferred your minor for a year. THAT is the responsible thing to do.

IN YOUR OPINION. Jayzus.

...deferring solves both issues. Show me a university that doesn't have deferring/student parent plans. It's not opinion; it's the logical choice given all the information we've received. Spend time with kid, AND finish degree! Don't be mad at logic.

Re: Super judgey rant incoming

tabaqui - 2016-12-11 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-11 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Except 'defer for a year' is sometimes a temporary solution that turns into a permanent problem.

"I'll go back when they go to daycare."

"I'll go back when they start kindergarten."

"I'll go back when they're in high school."

"I'll go back when they graduate."

My niece's mother only JUST finished her HS degree because she had to stop going to school when she had her daughter and she got caught in a loop of trying to take care of her child and putting off education, which lowered her job prospects and created this cycle of no time and no money.

You seem to think there's only One True Way To Raise A Baby. You also seem to be mixing up completing a degree and increasing job prospects with prioritising personal desires.

SHE GRADUATES BEFORE BABY IS BORN. Read OP's posts.

Some schools REQUIRE minors. Mine did. So fuck your fucking judgement. If you're so concerned, have your OWN damn baby and fuck out of this person's personal choice.

That wasn't me.

-OP

Beyond the original comment, I've only commented to clarify points; I haven't posted anymore otherwise.

Jeez Louise, this.

Exactly this. I feel bad for the mum, having a "Friend" like this.

For the record, I haven't actually been replying except to clarify some points. Whoever is saying things like "This just makes me sad." isn't actually me.

-OP